#and he's still as beautiful as the day i lost him

[cherryxbooo]

You’re my ideal type

Summary: A video from a year ago of Oscar talking about his ideal type went viral, making his fans wonder why he chose his girlfriend. This leaves y/n with a lot of questions herself .

Note: First time writing for Oscar! I kinda went with the flow. Let me know what you think! 😌

Reader x Oscar Piastri

Genre: fluff/angst

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Monaco. I was out with two of my friends, enjoying brunch together and soaking up the good vibes.

We spent hours talking, laughing, and joking around—overall, it was a fantastic time.

Afterward, we decided to go for a stroll. That’s when we stumbled upon a gorgeous spot with an incredible view. For girls, that can only mean one thing: a photo session. And, of course, we took full advantage.

We snapped countless pictures of each other—exactly what I needed. I’d been wanting to update my Instagram feed, and I knew Oscar would appreciate a few of these too. A win-win situation if you ask me.

Hours later, we decided to head home. Parting ways was bittersweet, but we all had things to do.

When I finally arrived at the place Oscar and I shared, I immediately went inside, feeling my social battery completely drained.

I glanced at the clock and sighed. There were still a few hours to go before Oscar would be home. Feeling a little bored, I decided to tackle some household chores to pass the time.

Eventually, I finished everything and switched to full-on "bed rotting" mode. As I scrolled mindlessly on my phone, I remembered the stunning photos we’d taken earlier.

Sitting up, I started going through them, carefully picking out the best ones to upload to Instagram.

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yourusername Days like these ☀️💐

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oscarpiastri Pretties girl ❤️ by author

alexandrasaintmleux Gorgeous ❣️

yourusername Says you 💋

f1_dailylvr81 She's so girly coded love it 💅

fashionistaformula I can't be the only one thinking about that one interview of Oscar?

paistryln481 You're not alone, every time I see her I keep thinking about it

foryoutt16 Wait what? I'm lost, what happened?

cocosainzyy55 @foryoutt16 An old interview of Oscar when he was still in F2 resurfaced and he was talking about his ideal type and the description he gave matches nothing to his current girlfriend. People are suddenly bringing this up again, wondering why he didn't choose his ideal type.

foryoutt16 Oh damn that's rough...

The comments and likes flooded in, as they always did. Sometimes, I forgot that I was dating an F1 driver—it came with its own kind of spotlight.

But as I scrolled through the comments under my post, a few things caught my attention.

One comment in particular stood out: something about an old interview of Oscar.

Confused and curious, I decided to look it up. Little did I know, I was about to regret it...

My stomach twisted into knots as I watched the video, realization sinking in. Oscar described his ideal woman, and her characteristics were unlike ones I possessed. I felt a wave of insecurities and doubts wash over me, each word a reminder of how I didn't fit the bill for his ideal partner.

My heart sank with every word he spoke, describing his ideal woman's qualities - and every one felt like another reminder of how far off the mark I was.

I couldn't help but wonder, "Why did he choose me?" His words stung, and I questioned whether he settled for less than his ideal because he didn't have better options.

On cue, as if the universe was playing a cruel joke, Oscar returned home and called out my name. His voice echoed through the hallway, a stark contrast to the turmoil churning inside me. I hesitated, a mix of fear and confusion gripping me, as I debated whether to face him with this newfound knowledge.

He entered the room with a warm smile, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. He greeted me with a gentle kiss on the forehead before starting to speak in sweet words.

"Hey babe, how was your day?" he asked, completely unaware of the recent discovery I made.

I forced a smile, trying to hide the turmoil inside as I replied, "It was fine," my voice trying to mask the disappointment and insecurity that bubbled up.

The words left my lips, sounding hollow compared to the usual warmth in my tone.

Oscar sensed the hint of falsity in my fake smile. His observant nature picked up on the subtle cues of my distress, and he recognized that something was off. Yet, instead of immediately asking about it, he chose to hold off, observing to see if I would bring it up.

Oscar wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. He kissed my temple gently, his touch providing a temporary sense of comfort.

He knew something was bothering me and chose not to press, offering a moment of respite instead. "Do you want takeout?" he asked, his voice filled with tenderness.

I replied softly, trying to match his tenderness, "Sounds good." Despite my conflicting emotions, I didn't want to dampen the mood by revealing my insecurities.

"Takeout sounds great," I said, attempting to sound cheerful.

Oscar reluctantly let go of me, reaching for the phone to place the takeout order. In his absence, I seized the opportunity to sneak a look in the mirror, as well as to search for pictures of Oscar's ideal type.

I scoured the internet, comparing every aspect of my appearance to the images of his ideal woman. The comparison fueled my insecurities, amplifying the feeling of not measuring up.

My tears threatened to spill as I stood there, comparing myself to Oscar's ideal, but before they could, I heard Oscar's voice calling out.

"Y/n baby, the food will be here in twenty minutes," he informed me. I swiftly wiped away the tears before responding, attempting to hide the vulnerability in my voice, "Okay, thanks for letting me know."

Splashing my face with water to compose myself, hoping to hide any traces of my tears and distress. With determination, I dried my face and returned to the room where Oscar was, trying to mask my vulnerability.

After the food came, we ate together. I was quiet, it was mainly Oscar talking which was odd because normally it was always me talking and he would listen. We were currently cuddled up together after eating

Despite our cozy cuddle on the couch, my mind was preoccupied with worries. Thoughts like "What if he leaves me?" and "What if I'm not good enough?" consumed me.

Oscar noticed my distraction and asked if I was alright, concern in his voice. I replied, "Just tired," and although he didn't fully believe it, he decided not to push further.

Oscar spoke up once more, his voice soft and reassuring. "Y/n?" he began, his eyes searching mine.

"You know I love you, right? If there's anything bothering you, you know you can tell me," he emphasized, his tone filled with patience and support.

I nodded, attempting to hide the depth of my worries and insecurities. "Yeah, I know. I love you too," I responded, trying to sound reassuring.

The words felt heavy, knowing the weight of my unspoken fears.

A few weeks had passed since that moment of insecurity, and I had been avoiding Oscar, even though we lived together. I had made excuses to skip every Grand Prix , claiming I was too busy with work.

Yet, here I was, facing the mirror on the morning of a home race, feeling utterly unprepared. The interview weighed heavily on my mind, and I wasn't in the right state to face it.

Standing in front of my reflection, I looked at myself, thoughts of my inadequacy resurfacing.

Oscar entered the room, his gaze settling on me. He positioned himself behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my head.

His presence brought both comfort and nerves as I stood in front of the mirror, still grappling with my insecurities.

He spoke softly, his compliment genuine and sweet. "I didn't know it was possible to be this pretty. You look amazing love," he murmured, his voice filled with affection.

I stepped away from him, the compliment not offering the comfort it usually would. My actions were distant, as if I was subconsciously putting up a barrier.

"Thanks," I responded distantly, my tone devoid of the warmth that usually accompanied my words.

The fear of his departure and my sense of inadequacy still lingered in my heart, casting a shadow over the moment.

Oscar seemed puzzled by my distant behavior, his confusion evident. Seeing right through my attempt to avoid him, he asked gently,

"Baby, did I do something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?"

His voice was tinged with concern, his eyes filled with hurt at my distance.

I quickly responded, trying to change the subject. "No, you did nothing wrong. Uhm, shouldn't you leave for the race?"

Oscar looked at me, his gaze lingering on me before reluctantly letting it go.

"Wait, weren't you coming with me?" he questioned, his tone hinting at his confusion.

I responded with a slightly busted attitude, "Oh, uhm, I'm not done getting ready yet. I'll come later, though."

It was a lie, and Oscar seemed to sense that something was off.

Despite the passing time, he decided to focus on his own preparations while stealing a moment to kiss my forehead before leaving.

I took a moment to muster my courage, realizing that Oscar didn't deserve being pushed away because of my insecurities.

With a deep breath, I prepared myself to face the day and attend the race, pushing through the weight of my doubts.

As the hours flew by, I found myself standing in the garage, watching from afar, torn between my worries and the desire to support him.

After awhile I decided to go to the restroom since I still had some time before the race started.

As I was walking, I heard voices behind me, and my name being mentioned caught my attention.

I stopped to listen—not that I meant to eavesdrop, but hearing my name made it impossible not to.

From what I could tell, these girls were likely McLaren fangirls. Well duh after all, they were dressed in papaya colors.

Girl 1: "It's crazy that Oscar is still dating y/n. She doesn't even fit his ideal type."

Girl 2: "I know, right? Like, she's not even close."

Girl 3: "Yeah, he must be leading her on or something."

Girl 4: "Or maybe she's in it for the fame and money."

Girl 5: "Oh, definitely. There's no other reason she would be with him."

The girls' laughter echoed in my ears, each comment like a punch to my heart.

Girl 2: "Seriously, you'd think he could do better than her."

Girl 1: "Yeah, she's not even that attractive compared to the other girls he's dated before."

Girl 3: "I bet he'll realize soon that he could get someone way better."

Girl 4: "Well, if the fame and money aren't enough, then he's definitely settling."

I couldn't bear to listen any longer, my tears streaming as I fled to the restroom, seeking solace to hide my distress.

Time slipped away as I stayed there, isolated, wrestling with my tormenting thoughts and self-doubts.

Meanwhile, the McLaren garage buzzed with pre-race energy, but Oscar couldn’t focus. His eyes darted around the paddock, scanning for any sign of you.

Anxiety churned in his gut as he spotted his teammate leaning casually against a workbench.

“Lando!” Oscar called, walking over briskly.

Lando glanced up, eyebrows raised. “What’s up, mate?”

Oscar hesitated before blurting out, “Have you seen Y/N anywhere?”

Lando frowned, clearly puzzled. “No, mate, haven’t seen her. Matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve seen her around for the last few races. Is everything okay?”

Oscar sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, mate. She’s been so distant lately, and I have no idea what I’ve done to upset her.”

Lando’s expression softened, a mix of pity and thoughtfulness. “Could it maybe have to do with that video that went viral again?”

Oscar blinked, confused. “What video? That old F2 interview of mine? That was years ago! I was just joking in most of it anyway.”

Lando shrugged, giving him a pointed look. “Mate, you might want to check the comments under her recent Instagram post. I think that’s your answer.”

With a sympathetic pat on the back, Lando turned and walked off, leaving Oscar alone with his thoughts.

He pulled out his phone, his fingers quickly navigating to your profile. The comments under your latest post hit him like a brick.

“Oh no,” Oscar muttered, his stomach sinking. “No wonder she’s been distant…”

He mentally kicked himself, remembering that dumb interview where he’d been too cocky for his own good.

“I didn’t even mean half the stuff I said,” he whispered to himself, cringing at the memory.

Before he could search for you and explain himself, a crew member called his name, dragging him toward the car for pre-race preparations.

“Great timing,” he muttered under his breath. But he made a promise to himself: as soon as this race was over, he’d find you and make things right.

Meanwhile, back to you, the restroom break had taken longer than expected. The initial plan to kill time before the race started had backfired; now, a dull ache was forming in my head, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease creeping up on me.

I leaned against the sink for a moment, taking a deep breath. “This is ridiculous,” I muttered to myself, but the discomfort wasn’t going away.

Deciding it was best not to push myself, I pulled out my phone and quickly typed a message to Oscar:

Not feeling great. Heading back home. Don’t worry about me.

I hesitated before hitting send. He’d probably be confused or even concerned, but the last thing I wanted was to worry him.

With a sigh, I hit send and slipped my phone back into my bag.

As I stepped out of the restroom and headed for the exit, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.

On the way, I also let Oscar's manager know I left, just in case he didn't check his phone.

I knew Oscar would notice my absence, but today, it felt easier to retreat than to stay and face everything swirling in my mind.

Little did I know, Oscar was already worrying.

The race had ended, with Oscar clinching a solid P4, just behind Lando. Though pleased with his result, his mind was elsewhere.

He wanted nothing more than to see you, to feel your arms around him, and hear you tell him how proud you were—just like old times.

But as he scanned the crowd, his hope began to waver. You weren’t there.

His manager noticed Oscar’s distracted gaze and approached him. “Looking for Y/N?” the manager asked gently.

“She left you a message. Said she wasn’t feeling well and headed home.”

Oscar’s jaw tightened, his heart sinking. You hadn’t told him the truth.

A mix of frustration and hurt bubbled to the surface. Without a word, he decided to skip the team celebrations and headed straight home.

When Oscar arrived, he didn’t waste a second. Dropping his bag by the door, he called out loudly—his voice sharper than usual.

“Y/N!”

You were downstairs in no time, a soft smile on your face.

“Oh, hey, Osc! You’re back early. How was the race?” I asked sweetly, trying to act normal.

But Oscar wasn’t having it. His expression was hard as he stared at you.

“You would’ve known if you didn’t leave,” he said, his voice laced with frustration.

Guilt washed over me, and you stammered, “I’m sorry, Osc. I wasn’t feeling well—”

“Cut the crap, Y/N!” he interrupted, startling you. His voice was raised, something he rarely did.

“When are you going to finally admit the real reason you’ve been like this? Tell me! I’m sick of it!”

I flinched but couldn’t blame him. He deserved an explanation. At the same time, I’d had enough, too. My emotions spilled out, my voice breaking.

“How would you feel if people kept telling you that your partner is too good for you? That you’re not good enough, that you’re too ugly, not their type, only with them for the money?!”

Tears streamed down my face as you continued.

“And yes, it’s about that stupid interview of yours! I can’t help it, okay? Call me dumb, call me a crybaby, but this is too much!”

By now, I was full-on sobbing, unable to meet his gaze. But before I could crumble further, I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me close.

His voice was soft now, gentle. “Why didn’t you tell me, baby? I could’ve helped. We’re a team, remember?”

I sniffled, my voice trembling as I replied, “Those were your words, Oscar. I can’t take them back or change them.”

He sighed, his hand running soothingly up and down your back. “Babe, that interview was years ago. I was joking around the entire time. If you’d watched the whole thing, you’d see that.”

I shook my head, unsure, but he leaned back just enough to look at me.

“Since when is my favorite color pink?” he teased, a small laugh escaping him.

Despite yourself, you let out a small laugh, too.

“That's better,” he said, smiling.

“Listen to me. Everything I said in that interview wasn’t true. I was 18, tired, and didn’t even want to be there. I was just trolling to get it over with.”

I laughed again at his confession, finally meeting his eyes.

“There’s that pretty smile,” he said, his tone softer now. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but next time, talk to me, okay?”

I nodded, wiping your tears. “I will. I’m sorry for doubting you… for pushing you away.”

He smiled warmly, leaning in to peck your lips a few times.

“It’s okay, love. I get why you did it. But don’t you ever doubt yourself again, yeah? You’re the most beautiful girl in the world. If anyone doesn’t deserve someone, it’s me. How did I get so lucky, huh?”

He cupped your face, his thumb gently caressing your cheek before pulling you into a long, passionate kiss. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours.

“Don’t you ever doubt yourself,” he whispered. “You’re my ideal type. Always.”

I laughed softly. “Alright, alright, I get it.”

Suddenly, Oscar scooped me up into his arms, bridal style, making me squeal.

“Osc! What the hell are you doing? Put me down!”

He grinned, shaking his head as he headed toward the bedroom.

“Nope. Let me show my gorgeous girl how much I love her.”

And let’s just say, the night ended perfectly. From that moment on, I never doubted his love for me ever again.

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oscarpiastri An amazing race to finish off the week. A big thank you to the entire team and the fans. Also a big thank you to my beautiful girlfriend for being the best support.

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yourusername So so proud of you Osc!!! Love you! 🩷

oscarpiastri Love you too pretty!

landonorris Well done mate 🙌 extra support is always great!

oscarpiastri Thanks man! You're right especially if she's just my type 😉

yourusername 🤭 ❤️ by author

lalalandnorris4you Oscar really gagged all of you haters purr 💅

frvrformulaonestan1 This is the cutest thing ever brb I'm going to cry 🥹

notyourfan481 Bro Oscar you don't have to lie we all know this ain't you

osclvy/n Girl stfu he isn't going to notice you ffs 🙄

lovelypeachlan4 You thought you did sum? Get out 👉🚪

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yourusername A little recap of last week 🤍

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yourbffuser Looking like a snack 😋😍🥵

yourusername Love ya 💋🫦

oscarpiastri Gorgeous 😍

yourusername Love youu Osc 🥰

alexandrasaintmleux So so so pretty 😘

yourusername Says you beautiful 😉💕

lv4motorsports81 She's so pretty omd

manyyynorriz She's gorgeous, don't know what people were on about 🤨

banananorrispiastry81 🤢

nothingthelessnorris4 And you did this for what ☠️

piastrybakerlvr Move on he isn't going to notice you 🥱

lvlynorrisss4 Yet your comment didn't make any change to this world... Grow up 🤦‍♀️

The end

[crookedteethed]

ᡣ𐭩 the good girl . • ° 　 .　 *　:.　the introduction (1)

synopsis -- Rafe is infatuated with you, his new secretary; something about a trip to Morocco. Rafe is in debt and wants you to pick up a bag of cocaine from Barry for him.

warnings: 18+ mdni mostly through Rafe's (perverted) pov, cursing, ward is still alive, smut but through fantasies, angst, Slight Dark! Rafe, drug/alcohol usage

a/n: I don't know anything about real estate so please don't take the buisness portions in this series seriously.

Series Masterlist | word count: 3.2k

You and Rafe had four scheduled meetings together before noon, each one dragging on with the monotonous drone of old men discussing business.

Rafe, easily bored, found his attention drifting away from the discussions and towards you. He couldn't help but notice the delicate beauty marks scattered across your smooth crossed legs, a detail he had committed to memory by the third meeting.

He longed for your soft voice as he listened to the sound of flapping cheeks and tedious numbers being tossed back and forth. Every now and then, just to hear it, he would interrupt with a simple question in your ear: "You got that down?"

And in response, you would always give a respectful "Yes sir" or a subtle hum on quieter days.

Rafe would watch you intently as you quickly scribbled down notes about whatever mundane topic was being discussed by the mortgage broker--so you can recite to him later.

Despite the dullness of the meetings, he found himself amused by your presence and secretly looked forward to these moments shared between just the two of you.

And then, like clockwork, that smart ass Pope Hayward would lean in and whisper something in your ear, too, ruining everything for Rafe.

Hayward had worked for R&P, the mortgage brokers for Cameron Development, and would often attend their meetings. He always sat beside you, on the opposite side of Rafe, where he was conveniently hidden behind your body and out of Rafe's line of sight.

Rafe thinks this is a sneaky move on Hayward's part since Rafe had suspicions that Hayward may have a crush on you, which only fueled his anger towards Hayward and the meetings.

If Rafe ever discovered Heyward's true feelings for you, he wouldn't hesitate to resurrect the violence of their teenage years. He'd make you watch as he reminded Heyward exactly who you belonged to, letting Heyward's blood stain his thousand-dollar leather shoes. After all, what better way to prove his love than marking his expensive Italian leather with the consequences of wanting what's his? Some men send flowers – Rafe Cameron sends messages written in bruises and blood.

The boardroom felt thick with tension as Rafe's attention ping-ponged between the financial reports and the way Heyward kept leaning toward you. His knuckles turned white around his Mont Blanc pen every time Heyward whispered something in your ear, every time you smiled politely in response.

The irony wasn't lost on him – Heyward's own secretary sat barely three feet away, yet here he was, hovering over what belonged to Rafe. His secretary. His territory.

By the fourth meeting, Rafe found  himself on the brink of madness, his father, Ward Cameron, drawling tone grating on his nerves. 

Mentally detached, he fantasized about indulging in a line of cocaine to awaken his senses, only to have his mind wander to envisioning himself ravishing you right atop the conference table in full view of everyone. 

His imagination spiraled further, picturing the new maintenance girl he saw a couple nights ago, pleasuring you while you, upside down like a flipped turtle, sucking his cock. 

A sudden pang of guilt hit Rafe as he remembered that he needed to order another batch of his "special" supplies from Barry.

He wondered if you, his new secretary, would be willing to make the call for him. His former assistant would have handled it without question, but she was long gone now.

Rafe resumed thinking about you, him, and the maintenance girl having a very sexy threesome on the conference table; he's jolted back to the present as his father's voice rings out, drawing his attention to the press room, where every man's gaze is fixed on him. 

The gentle touch of your hand on the padded sleeve of his suit stirs him, and he feels like popping a boner from your warm touch. 

He asks Ward to repeat himself.

Ward's voice was agitated, his tone indicating his impatience with his son. "Rafe, I want you to deal with the Morocco situation," he repeated firmly.

Later on, Rafe fumed over his father's request in his newly personalized office. Rafe's response was harsh and tense as he spat at his father, "How fair is it to dump all of this on me?!"

He had initially been planning for a sleek, earthy-toned with a black and brown look for his office. But when you mentioned your preference for dark blue and white, Rafe couldn't resist. After all, he always looked delectable in those colors, you told him (and yes, delectable was the exact word you used). So Rafe dropped his original design and went with a nautical theme instead.

"Well, son," Ward's voice cut through the air like ice, "if you could tear your eyes away from your secretary for five minutes, you might understand why the Morocco deal is crucial for this company's future."

Rafe's jaw clenched. "I wasn't--"

"Save it," Ward interrupted, his calm facade cracking. "I've seen this before, Rafe. The way you look at her, how you've redecorated your entire office to her taste. Just like all the others." He leaned forward, voice dropping. "How many secretaries have we lost because of you? How many NDAs have I had to sign?"

The accusation hung heavy in the air. Rafe's hands curled into fists, his cerulean eyes darkening with something dangerous. "This one's different," he growled.

"That's what you said about the last one." Ward's laugh was bitter. "And the one before that. Face it, son - you're becoming predictable. By this time next month, I'll be interviewing replacements. Again."

"Look," Ward's voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, but Rafe wasn't about to let him finish that thought.

"No, you look," he spits at his father. "You're always pulling this crap on me - sending me off to do your dirty work like some kind of expendable pawn. 'Send Rafe to northwest Africa for two months, with our worst fucking clients' " Rafe said, fake laughing and clapping all the while." Well the joke's on me, isn't it?" Rafe's eyes blaze with anger and bitterness as years of resentment bubble to the surface.

The words flew out of Rafe's mouth like venomous arrows, each one stinging with a sharp and bitter rage. "You wouldn't dare do this to Sarah, dad--your perfect little princess. But me? I'm just the expendable son, right? Send me on a ten hour flight, unpaid, to fix someone else's mistakes!" His voice dripped with disdain as he imitated his father's words in a mocking tone.

But Ward was not cowed by his son's outburst. "Rafe, please just calm down and listen--"

Rafe's words were sharp as he cut Ward off. "Don't play dumb with me, Dad. I know exactly why you're sending me to South Africa - it's a punishment, a way to get rid of me." The tension in the office was thick and palpable as Ward yelled back, their argument echoing off the walls for all to hear.

But amidst the chaos, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of curiosity and nosiness. You had been waiting outside Rafe's office, ready to deliver an urgent message about his 3 o'clock lunch meeting with another Mortgage Broker, Dennis Rutherford.

As time ticked by and Rafe's chauffeured car waited impatiently outside, you knew you had to intervene before it was too late.

Bursting into the office uninvited, you were greeted with the sight of father and son locked in a heated battle, their words laced with anger and resentment. This was not just another work disagreement - this was a deep-rooted family conflict that threatened to tear them apart.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen." you awkwardly say, getting both men's attention. 

Had it been anyone else, Rafe would have immediately fired them for barging in like that. However, since it was you—and he hadn’t yet had the chance to sleep with you—Rafe merely shouted a sharp "What?!" that made you recoil in fear. He felt awful about your reaction but thought he could make it up to you later when his tongue is knee-deep into your pussy.

"Your 3'oclock, sir--with Mr.Rutherford." You say, trying to mask their intimidation.

"Shit." Rafe cursed, swiping a hand across his growing buzzed head. "Did you call the chauffeur?" he asked you. 

You acknowledge with a bow of your head, responding, Of course, sir, as you pass his briefcase into his hands. Rafe longed to refer to you as his good girl, yet with his father present in the room—and after already being seen openly "oogling" you earlier by his father and possibly others—he hesitated. 

While escorting Rafe from the office, he looks at you and remarks: 

"Join me and Rutherford for lunch."

Your heart races as you scramble to find an excuse. "I-I have a mountain of work to catch up on--"

"I don't recall asking you," he sneers, cutting you off. "I was telling you."

Twenty minutes past the scheduled meeting time, and Rafe had already downed three vodka shots, each one burning away at his paper-thin patience. The bar at Roots, despite its upscale pretense, felt suffocating.

You'd been to countless lunch meetings with him before, but something about today felt different. More dangerous. Maybe it was the way his leg kept brushing against yours under the bar, or how his cerulean eyes seemed to devour you between drinks.

Rafe Cameron, with his old money and expensive tastes, ordered another round. You watched, entranced despite yourself, as the alcohol stripped away his careful facade, revealing something raw and hungry underneath.

"Have a drink with me," he murmured, his voice honey-thick with liquor. His glazed eyes fixed on yours, holding secrets you weren't sure you wanted to understand.

"I believe one of us should stay sober, sir," you replied, fighting to keep your voice steady. The 'sir' slipped out automatically, and you watched his pupils dilate at the word.

A dark smile played at his lips as he closed his eyes, savoring your voice like another shot of vodka. Something about your presence seemed to intoxicate him more than the alcohol – a power that thrilled and terrified you in equal measure.

His hand found your knee under the bar, and you clutched your purse tighter, using it like a shield. Rafe noticed – he noticed everything about you – and his smile turned predatory.

"Just one drink," he pressed, sliding a virgin cocktail toward you. "Let go for me." The 'for me' sounded more like a claim than a request.

Forty-seven minutes in, Rutherford finally arrived to find Rafe thoroughly drunk and dangerously unraveled. The moment shattered as Rutherford launched into a tirade about debts – \$250,000 worth of them, spread across every loan shark in the city.

You shifted in your seat, uncomfortably aware of Rafe's heat beside you, the way his expensive cologne mixed with top-shelf vodka.

"The money's coming," Rafe slurred, but his eyes remained sharp, calculating. "Big deals in the pipeline. Major commissions."

Rutherford's lip curled in disgust. "Better hope so, Cameron. Or things get ugly."

The threat hung in the air like smoke. Rafe's fist clenched on the bar, his other hand still burning against your knee, his whole body vibrating with barely contained violence.

His thoughts scattered between the mounting pressure, the need for chemical escape, and the way your pulse jumped in your throat every time he leaned too close.

Without realizing it, Rafe grabbed your shoulder roughly and whispered in your ear, nearly dislocating your shoulder blade in the process.

Rafe's desperation was palpable as he leaned in closer, his voice a low murmur. "I need you to do something for me," he said, his eyes locked onto yours. "There's a guy named Barry. He's got something I need. I need you to pick it up for me."

Your heart raced as you realized what he was asking. "What is it?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

Rafe hesitated, his gaze shifting away. "It's a bag of cocaine," he admitted finally. "I need it to clear my head, to think straight. And I need it now."

You knew the risks, but Rafe's desperation was undeniable. He was in deep trouble, and he needed your help, as you looked in those glossy cerulean eyes of his. "Alright," you sighed, "I'll do it. But this is the last time, Mr. Cameron, what will your father think?"

"What he thinks of me already—that I'm just a Rafe, his screw-up of a son," Rafe replied. Despite this, a look of relief spread across his face, although the predatory gleam in his eyes remained. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled business card, pressing it into your palm with trembling fingers. His touch lingered longer than necessary, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine.

"Barry works out of the Bellamy Building on 5th," he whispered, his hot breath reeking of vodka against your ear. "Suite 401. Tell him Rafe sent you. And for God's sake, don't let anyone follow you."

Rutherford watched this exchange with cold calculation, his jaw clenched tight. He knew exactly what was happening – he'd seen plenty of rich boys like Rafe drag their employees into their mess before.

You gathered your things, trying to ignore how Rafe's eyes followed your every movement. Just as you stood to leave, he grabbed your wrist, his grip tight enough to bruise.

"One hour," he hissed. "I need it in one hour. Don't disappoint me."

The weight of what you'd agreed to settled heavy in your stomach as you walked toward the exit. Behind you, you could hear Rutherford's gravelly voice resume his threats, but Rafe's attention remained fixed on your retreating form until you disappeared through the door.

The Bellamy Building loomed like a tombstone against the afternoon sky, its worn brick facade a testament to forgotten glory. Inside, the elevator's slow climb gave you too much time to think – about Rafe's hungry cerulean eyes, his lingering touches that burned like brands, how every "yes, sir" seemed to draw you deeper into his web.

Suite 401 lurked at the end of a dimly lit hallway, distinguished only by tarnished brass numbers. Your knuckles rapped against the door – twice, then three times, just as Rafe had instructed. The sound seemed to echo down the empty corridor.

The door creaked open just enough to reveal a sliver of face: tired eyes beneath greasy long black hair, calculating and cold. "Barry?" Your voice emerged steadier than your racing heart. "Rafe Cameron sent me."

The door groaned wider. Barry matched his surroundings perfectly – disheveled but alert, like a crow picking through society's remains. His office was a study in decay: nicotine-stained walls, flickering fluorescent lights that made everything look diseased, and an ancient desk that had witnessed too many secrets.

"Well, well," Barry's lips curved into something that wasn't quite a smile. "Another one of Rafe's girls." He studied you like a specimen under glass. "You know, you're all starting to blur together. Pretty. Proper. Corruptible." The last word dripped with dark amusement.

He slid a small package across the desk, but when you reached for it, his fingers trapped yours. You jerked the package away.

Inescapably, Barry's raspy laugh followed you as you ascended down the hallway, bouncing off the grimy walls like a bad omen. "Tell Rafe his debt's getting steep," he called after you, his voice dripping with dark amusement. "And honey? Better watch yourself! Pretty secretaries like you have a way of… disappearing around Rafe Cameron."

Barry's laughter echoed through the grimy hallway, following you like a shadow as you rushed toward the elevator. Each click of your heels against the worn floor seemed to mock you: Pretty. Proper. Corruptible. The words burrowed into your mind, mixing with memories of Rafe's heated stares and possessive touches.

Your mind kept circling back to Barry's words – "disappearing around Rafe Cameron" – like a moth drawn to a deadly flame. The phrase echoed in your head, mixing with memories of Rafe's possessive touches and hungry stares. Each floor the elevator descended seemed to bring a new question: How many secretaries came before you? Where did they really go?

The package felt heavier in your hands as you realized maybe it wasn't just cocaine Rafe was addicted to – maybe it was the thrill of watching people fall into his web, one pretty secretary at a time.

The elevator doors couldn't close fast enough. In its mirrored walls, your reflection looked different somehow – as if Barry's words had marked you, changed you. Your phone buzzed in your purse, Rafe's name lighting up the screen, and you realized with a shiver that maybe Barry was right. Maybe you were already corrupted – after all, here you were, picking up cocaine for your boss in a building that reeked of broken dreams and dirty money.

But that didn't mean you were corrupted by Rafe specifically… right? This was just part of the job. Just another task, like scheduling meetings or taking notes while he stared at you across the conference table. Just another "yes, sir" in a long line of things you told yourself were purely professional. Even if your heart raced every time he got too close. Even if you kept saying yes to things that crossed every line you'd ever drawn.

You were just doing your job. At least, that's what you kept telling yourself.

Back at Roots, you found Rafe alone, Rutherford's absence heavy in the air. His hands trembled as you passed him the package under the bar, his relief palpable. Without a word, he grabbed your wrist and led you to the private bathroom in the back.

The fluorescent light buzzed overhead as Rafe arranged neat lines on the marble countertop. You turned to leave, but he caught your reflection in the mirror.

"Stay," he commanded softly. Then, more vulnerable: "Please."

You watched as he inhaled sharply, his body relaxing as the cocaine hit his system. When he straightened up, his eyes met yours in the mirror – pupils blown wide, but somehow clearer than before.

"Barry mentioned the money you owe him," you say carefully, your voice echoing off the pristine walls of the family restroom. The fluorescent lights cast harsh shadows across Rafe's sharp features as he straightens up from the sink, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"You know what scares me?" Rafe suddenly said, his eyes never leaving you in his backward reflection. "Not the money I owe. Not my father. Not even my fucking addiction." His voice cracked perfectly, a rehearsed break he'd perfected over years of practice.

"I'm nothing but Dad's fuck-up son. A disappointment. A monster." He laughed bitterly, running a trembling hand through his hair. "And you… you're too good. Too pure. The way you look at me like I could be better…" His fingers traced your reflection in the mirror. "It kills me knowing I'll destroy you too. Just like I destroy everything else."

Your heart ached at his words. Without thinking, you turned to face him, reaching up to touch his cheek. "You're not a monster, Mr. Cameron. You're just—"

"Rafe," he interrupted, leaning into your touch. "Please… just call me Rafe."

You saw the vulnerability in his eyes, the pain, the self-loathing. It made you want to save him, to prove him wrong about himself. And that's exactly what he was counting on.

Because what you missed, in that moment of compassion, was the calculating gleam behind his tears. The slight upturn of his lips as you fell perfectly into place. The way his hand tightened possessively on your waist, marking you as his next conquest.

"I need you," he whispered against your palm, knowing exactly how those words would seal your fate. "You're the only one who sees me. Really sees me."

And as you whispered back words of comfort, of understanding, Rafe Cameron smiled into your hand – the same smile he'd worn when the last girl who tried to save him learned exactly what kind of monster he really was.

The bathroom's fluorescent light flickered once, casting strange shadows across his face. In that brief moment of darkness, his mask slipped, revealing something hungry and triumphant in his expression. But by the time the light steadied again, all you could see was the broken man you desperately wanted to fix.

After all, the best predators know exactly how to play wounded.

a/n: thanks for making it to the end of this chapter!! as always all likes comments, and reblog keeps me motivated! 💕🫶🏾

Taglist -

@trapistani @alexxavicry @rafestoothbrush @ttrinity @jjmaybankmylovee @slut4rafey @Itristessedureratoujours @hittmeandtellmeyouremine @yoongling @lilithblackkk

[daffodils-and-viscera]

we all agree how much these two interactions mirror each other in ozzie’s and sinsmas, with the reaching out and the moving away and these 2 idiots will learn how to hold hands one day they just love subconsciously pulling away too much

but i would like to submit to the court this similar scene from apology tour:

and say that there is so much evidence of blitzø's emotional growth between apology tour and sinsmas based exclusively on those two scenes

like. oh my god it's beautiful i love him so much

in apology tour stolas is so sad and blitzø wants to offer comfort but he doesn't know how!!! he's stuck in self-loathing mode and he doesn't know how to cheer stolas up and it's heartbreaking to watch!!!

and then some asshole who is BETTER THAN BLITZO jumps in and asks stolas to dance. blitzø lets him go- if he can't make stolas happy, clearly someone better is the answer.

and the worst part is that it works.

stolas (visibly at least) is so happy!! he's dancing and twirling and smiling and kissing and that guy is so obviously better than blitzø if he can accomplish that.

like.. look at that smile we love this birb so much 🥺

bUT IN SINSMAS

blitzø has done some work on himself and it shows soooo much in everything about how he treats stolas, but specifically the scene at the end is the perfect showcase.

stolas is sad, and it's an impossible situation but blitzø is able to offer comfort the way he wasn't in apology tour, opening up about barb but not making it about himself

there is nobody who would be better than blitzo right now, because blitzø has grown enough to be exactly what stolas needs in this moment. they have a bit of a talk, but remember what made stolas cheer up last time he was sad like this????? dancing

we know that stolas still isn't happy per se, but just the fact that blitzø could see him and be there for him in this moment shows us just how far he's come

and then stolas does his lil laugh and smile

and it's not as big or shiny or intense as that glimpse of him in apology tour, but it means so much more because we know it's real

stolas just lost all contact with his daughter for 100 years! of course he's not happy! but there are moments like this that can bring him joy and blitzø is just so wonderful in this moment entire episode

sloppy making out is not what is called for in this moment, and blitzø reads the situation so well and he's such a good support system for stolas

there's a profound point to be made here along the lines of 'blitzø IS better than blitzo' but i can't get there in words lol just imagine i ended this post really cohesively ❤️

they’ve come so far! i can’t wait until they learn how to not flinch away from each other’s hands!

[hoe4hotchner]

Not worth the tears | [A.H]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!Reader | WC: 1.6k  | CW: Angst, no use of Y/N, mention of cheating, reader was dating a man, crying.| Summary: reader got cheated on - Hotch is there to pick up the pieces

The weight of your phone felt heavier than it should have in your hand as you stared at the screen. The text was still there, glaring at you, a brief, emotionless exchange that had just ended your relationship. You couldn't feel much, not at first. There was shock, a numbness that spread through your body like ice. Your partner had cheated— of all things he had cheated. And it wasn’t even a messy confession or an argument where the truth slipped out. It had been revealed so casually like it didn’t matter.

Your thumbs had moved faster than your brain, sending a few bitter replies before cutting off contact completely. Now, you sat alone at your desk, a dull ache blooming in your chest, your breath shallow. He had taken all the air out of your lungs and drained every bit of hope you had put into him. The thought circled through your mind—I tried. I tried for him. I gave everything, but it wasn’t enough.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, trembling slightly. The words blurred on the screen, and you blinked back the tears clouding your vision. That was it. It was over. You stared at the empty chat thread—his response was short, dismissive, almost as if what had happened didn’t matter. As if you didn’t matter.

You rubbed your hands over your face, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. You were supposed to be working—on a case, of all things—but the walls of the BAU felt tighter than ever. The world outside of this room, outside of the text that had wrecked your day, seemed far away.

As you leaned back in your chair, your thoughts spun—how long had it been going on? Did the moments you’d spent together mean anything at all? The memories felt tainted now, like ink smeared across a once beautiful piece of art. You'd done everything right. You tried to make it work. But it was over. And it was time to face that truth, even though it burned.

It felt like a punch to the gut, that revelation. He had betrayed you in the worst way possible, and all you got in return was a half-hearted apology and an empty text saying it wasn’t a big deal. You should’ve seen it coming, right? But you’d held on, hoping that things could change, that he could change, despite the cracks that had started to show months ago.

The pain was suffocating. You stood up from your desk, pacing the room, trying to shake off the weight pressing down on your chest. But it wasn’t going away. It was just getting worse. You'd loved him, believed in him, and he tossed you aside like you were nothing. He'd broken you in ways you never thought possible, and now you had to pick up the pieces.

Again.

Your thoughts spiraled as you stared out of the window, lost in a haze of disbelief and hurt. You wanted to scream, to throw something, anything, to just feel something other than this emptiness inside. The room felt too small, too confining, and your heart ached like it was splitting in two. Maybe it was. Maybe that’s what happens when you give someone everything, and they rip it all apart.

The glass door into the BAU creaked open, and Hotch’s presence filled the room before you could even look up. He stepped inside, his brow furrowed, as usual, a file in hand. His eyes scanned over you, a practiced intensity in them, as though he was ready to talk about whatever work issue had brought him here. But then, he stopped.

“Are you okay?” Hotch asked, his voice soft but carrying that steady authority. It wasn’t a question he asked often, and when he did, it was because he already knew the answer. He had this way of reading people—of reading you—like any of the case files that came across his desk.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, brushing a hand through your hair as you shook your head. You forced a weak smile, but your throat tightened, betraying the façade. “It’s nothing, Hotch. Just… work stress.” You waved a hand dismissively. But the lie tasted bitter on your tongue. The raw emotion in your voice gave you away, and you knew Hotch could see it. He always could.

He stood there, watching you closely, then set the file down on your desk without a word. It was the first time you'd seen him hesitate. “Something’s wrong. Talk to me.”

You wanted to hide it, to shove the pain down and pretend like you hadn’t just lost someone who wasn’t even worth the heartbreak. But this was Hotch—someone you trusted more than anyone. Your lips parted, and the words came tumbling out before you could stop them.

You felt your walls crumbling, the mask you’d tried to wear falling away as the weight of everything hit you all at once. Your chest tightened, and you tried to hold it in, but the pain surged forward, unstoppable.

“I broke up with him,” you said, your voice trembling. “He… he cheated on me.”

Hotch’s entire body went still. His expression, once concerned, darkened with something else entirely. His jaw clenched, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. It was as though he was holding back from storming out and finding the man who had hurt you. “He what?”

You nodded, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. “I tried, Hotch. I really tried. I wanted it to work, but… it’s over. He didn’t even care.”

The room was heavy with the weight of your admission. You had never seen Hotch angry like this—at least, not for something personal. His dark eyes were clouded, and the controlled, calm leader of the BAU was nowhere to be found. But then, just as quickly as it had come, the anger softened, replaced by something much gentler, much deeper. He stepped closer, his hand reaching out to brush the tears from your cheeks, his touch soft, careful, as if you might break at any moment.

“Did he tell you? Or did you find out another way?”

The look in his eyes was enough to make you swallow thickly. It was protective, fierce, as though he was barely keeping himself together. You hadn’t known it then, but Hotch loved you. And the idea of someone hurting you, betraying you, was enough to make him want to hunt down the bastard who had done it.

“He told me,” you muttered, looking down at your lap. “Like it was nothing. Like I didn’t matter.”

Hotch inhaled sharply through his nose, his hands flexing. For a moment, you could tell he was fighting the urge to walk out and do something rash, something you knew he would regret.

“I'm sorry,” he said quietly, and there was something deeper in his voice, something that made your heart skip a beat. “You didn’t deserve that,” he said quietly, his voice laced with something you couldn’t quite place. “He didn’t deserve you.”

You sniffed, wiping at your face as you tried to pull yourself together. “I just… I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Hotch shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” his voice was firm. He moved to sit beside you, his presence somehow grounding in all the chaos that had filled your head. “This is on him. Not you.”

The conviction in his voice made your breath hitch. You stared at him, taking in the intensity of his gaze, the way he looked at you as if you were the most important thing in the world. Your heart twisted painfully. You had never seen him like this before.

“He wasn’t worth your time,” Hotch continued, his tone softening even more. “You deserve someone who will fight for you, someone who will never hurt you like that.”

You could feel yourself breaking down again, the tears coming back, and you didn’t fight them this time. You didn’t have the strength to. Instead, you let yourself fall, collapsing into Hotch’s arms as he caught you without hesitation. He pulled you close, holding you tightly against his chest, his hand stroking your back in soothing circles.

For the first time all day, you felt safe. The ache in your heart hadn’t gone away, but being here, with Hotch, made it bearable. He didn’t say anything more, just held you, and somehow, that was enough.

For a few moments, neither of you said anything. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, and he seemed to understand that you needed the silence.

“I wanted it to work,” you whispered between sobs. “I really wanted it to work.”

“I know,” he said softly, his hand soothing as he rubbed slow circles on your back. “You deserve so much more than what he gave you.”

As he held you, a thought crossed your mind—Hotch had always been there. He had always cared, always looked out for you. And as he held you now, his heartbeat steady beneath your cheek, you wondered if maybe he had cared more than you’d realized.

You lifted your head slightly, meeting his gaze. There was something in his eyes, something soft and warm, but it wasn’t pity. It was deeper than that. It was understanding. It was… love.

You blinked, trying to process the moment, but the sadness and exhaustion weighed you down too much to explore it further. Instead, you leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. Hotch didn’t hesitate.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, though you weren’t sure why.

Hotch shook his head, his expression tender. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, and for a moment, the world didn’t feel so broken. In his arms, you could breathe again, and maybe—just maybe—your heart wasn’t beyond repair after all.

Because even though everything had fallen apart, Hotch was there to help you pick up the pieces. And this time, you weren’t alone.

[ikkyfics]

Home Charm

James Potter x reader

Summary: James Potter, the devoted and loving father, transforms every moment into magic and love with his enchanted family.

Warnings: none

A/N: anon, hope you like it <333

Masterlist

• James loves making you laugh and uses every opportunity to tease you in a cute way. He might steal a kiss in the middle of an argument or tickle you until you beg for mercy. Life with him is always light and fun.

• He deeply values your partnership. For any important decision, he always checks with you first, making it clear that your opinion is the most important to him.

• James never misses a chance to steal a kiss. Whether you’re in the middle of a sentence, distracted with a book, or even complaining about something, he simply can’t resist. “You had that irresistible look, love, I had to do it,” he says with a mischievous smile, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

• James is such a soft dad that just hearing the kids say “daddy” for the first time made him emotional. He tells everyone about it — Sirius had lost count of how many times he’d heard the same story. “My kid said I’m the best dad in the world yesterday. I’m not saying it’s true, but I’m not denying it either,” he jokes with a smile that lights up his entire face.

• If one of the kids mentions liking something, even if it’s a small detail, James jumps into action. “You like chocolate frogs? Great, now we have an entire collection.” He fills the shopping cart with anything he thinks the kids will love, only realizing the excess when you laugh while trying to find space in the house to store everything.

• For James, physical touch is a form of love. He wraps his arm around your waist whenever you’re together, as if he needs to make sure you’re there. When you’re cooking, he leans against the counter just to watch, but never without first running his hands over your shoulders or waist. He pulls you close with the excuse of “needing to taste something” you’re making, but in reality, he just wants you in his arms.

• He has the habit of complimenting you out of nowhere, especially in public, as if he can’t hold back how he feels. “Are you all seeing this? How did I marry the most beautiful woman in the world?” he jokes with his friends, but his look is completely serious. You might roll your eyes, but the sparkle in his smile always melts you.

• James has a smile unlike any other, one he reserves only for you. It’s the kind of smile that makes it feel like you’re the only person in the world who matters, full of tenderness and adoration.

• Even without music, James finds an excuse to make you twirl around the room. Whether it’s after a long day or just because he thinks you need a smile, he takes your hand and leads you in an exaggerated way, as if you’re the stars of a ballroom. When you protest, he just laughs and insists, saying, “You know I won’t stop until I get a smile, right?”

• He has the habit of pulling you into a long kiss, especially when you’re in a rush to leave. “Just one more, please,” he asks, pressing his forehead against yours after, still a little out of breath and with shiny lips. Of course, this results in you both being late more often than you’d like, but who can resist him?

• He loves it when you wear his clothes, especially his sweaters and shirts. When he notices you’re cold, he doesn’t wait for you to ask — he just wraps you in one of his huge coats and puts his arms around you like a human blanket. “Much better this way, don’t you think?” he whispers in your ear, though it doesn’t take long before he removes his clothes from you.

• The king of excuses to hug you. “You don’t look comfortable in that chair,” he comments, pulling you onto his lap with ease. “You know what would be better? Sitting here.” He does this anywhere: in the living room, the backyard, showering your neck with kisses that fluster you.

• James knows exactly how to make you laugh, even on the toughest days. He might mimic voices, make faces, or even create hilarious imaginary scenes with objects around. His goal, he swears, is always to hear you laugh, because “if you’re laughing, I’m winning at life.”

• When you’re sick or tired, James becomes your loving caretaker. He brings tea, makes soup, and wraps you in blankets. “You just need to tell me what you want, my love, and I’ll do it,” he insists, even if his soup attempt ends up being more funny than delicious.

• James loves telling the story of the day he met you. He does it with such enthusiasm that it feels like he’s reliving the moment every time, emphasizing how you captivated him right away. “I knew from that instant I was lost,” he confesses, while you roll your eyes, but your heart races anyway.

• No matter how tired he is, James never forgets to give you a kiss before bed. He pulls you close, whispers something sweet or funny, and kisses your forehead, cheek, and finally your lips. “Good night, my life,” he says with so much affection that it feels like you’re in the arms of the whole world.

• When the kids scribble on the house walls, you try to be firm about the rules, but James shows up with a mischievous look. “You know, they were just expressing their creativity,” he argues while trying to scrub the marks. In the end, he ends up sitting in time-out with them, admitting that “he was an accomplice to the art.”

• During your pregnancy, James had the habit of lying next to you and talking to the baby, even when it seemed silly. He would talk about how excited he was to meet the baby, or make up funny stories about teaching the baby to fly. When he felt the baby move, his eyes would shine in a way that made you fall even more in love.

• Before bed, James turns simple stories into epic adventures. He does all the voices for the characters, makes exaggerated gestures, and even creates a soundtrack with light spells. Even if the kids are exhausted, they always ask for “just one more story, daddy.”

• When you say no to something the kids want, James does his best to negotiate on their behalf. “Love, they just want to build a fort in the middle of the living room. And look, they’ve already assigned me as the troll guarding the entrance. I can’t disappoint my adventurers,” he says with an irresistible look.

• Even on days when the kids make a mess or are in a bad mood, James stays calm. He believes every behavior has a reason and prefers to resolve things with conversations and playfulness rather than scolding. When one of the kids cries, he immediately sits next to them, saying, “It’s okay, champ. What’s wrong? Daddy’s here.”

• James never misses a chance to shower the kids with affection. He hugs them, kisses their cheeks, and messes up their hair. “You know I love you, right?” he says daily, because he believes it’s important for them to grow up knowing how adored they are.

• James loves creating little traditions. Every Friday night, he organizes “pajama parties” in the living room, where you watch Muggle movies (courtesy of Remus) and eat enchanted popcorn that changes flavor. At Christmas, he always dresses up as Santa, even though the kids already know it’s him.

• He completely surrenders to playtime. If that means getting covered in paint or glitter, James doesn’t mind. To him, the kids’ laughter is worth any effort. Later, he makes sure to help them clean up, singing made-up songs to make the moment fun.

• James makes sure to emphasize how amazing the kids are. “Did you know you’re the smartest wizard that ever existed?” or “That was the most impressive defense I’ve ever seen in a Quidditch match! And trust me, I’ve seen a lot of Quidditch.” He believes every day is a new chance to make the kids feel special.

• James makes sure to show you how much he loves you in front of the kids. He says “I love your mom” whenever he can, believing this will teach them what a healthy relationship looks like. He believes raising kids in a home full of love and laughter is the greatest gift he can give them.

[misshuntereevee]

when you finally remember your past with your dragon, because i really just needed MC to remember. i needed the pay off. so here we are.

content: pure fluff

buy me a ko-fi 🫶🏻

You didn’t know what to expect. The protocore floating in front of you glistens red and you realize all at once that it is an aether core. Just like the one in your heart and in Sylus’ eye. You don’t know what possesses you, but you reach out, almost to grab it—

And then you feel it. A whole lifetime of tragedy and loss and also love… ramming into you at full speed. A kiss in a meadow of beautiful red flowers. A hand gently touching your face. The dragon you met while angry and lost. How you became each other’s worlds…

A gasp crashes out of your lips. A million memories, a million stories. Footsteps are heard from behind you. You realize you’re still in battlefield, you should be more careful -- but how could you? How could you when you just remembered everything. You raise your gun only to realize it’s Sylus who's entered the area.

“It’s only me, kitten.” His voice comes almost as a purr. He doesn’t seem to notice you’ve had an epiphany. You dropped your gun down to your lap, your breathing hard. Everything... came flooding back.

Because your dragon. He’s here. He’s always been here. You’d always felt that he was something more to you. That you’d known each other. Your gun clatters to the floor as you stare at him. Completely shell-shocked. He seems to be concerned now, although he only lets it slip by a slight furrowing of his brow.

“Sweetie?”

And just like that, you’re bolting to him. You catch air, landing into his arms. Your own arms go around his neck, hugging him tightly. He catches you like it’s nothing, holding on to you.

“What is this?” He says, his voice tinged with amusement and confusion.

“I remember. I remember you, my dragon.”

He pauses, and unlike Sylus’, his voice is shaky as he responds next. It sounds unsure, like he doesn’t know whether to believe it.

“You do?”

And then the song. The harmony he’d played you weeks ago. You remember the ending now. The end you never got to play because you’d end up in his arms, distracted. You remember that so clearly...

In that past life, you sit with him in his cave. He'd acquired an organ through a raid he'd performed on an abandoned city. Most times, Sylus found, humans would destroy each other, and he only had to pick up the pieces.

But Sylus didn't know that you knew how to play. His little sorceress. You took the seat at keys, staring at it with a gentle smile. He felt almost like he was intruding. Like this was a personal moment between you and the organ.

But to his amazement, you turn to look at him -- before patting the seat next to you. He didn't know what to think, but he sat next to you. You're so beautiful to him, as you start to play. Halfway through the song, right after the melody, your hair falls in your face.

While pushing it out of your face, your hands pause on the keys. You're both stuck in this moment. His hand on your cheek, your gentle eyes boring into his. How they could make him, a dragon, feel so vulnerable, he'll never understand. But one look from you is enough to level him.

And then you're both kissing in earnest. The keys play an ugly note of dissonance as they slip away and into his hair. His mouth explores yours, all while telling you how beautiful the music was. How he was going to covet it while he coveted you.

Later the next day, you heard him humming it as he polishes his gold. You make a note to play it more often. However... you never finished. You always got distracted by him.

So you hum it to him now. Proving to him that you remember. Realization crashes over his face. His red hues widening ever so slightly. That’s all he needs to hear before he’s lifting you up in his arms. His hands are firm, stern, but not harsh. Never harsh with you, his everything.

Both of your legs straddle his hip, and he’s looking at you, his eyes burning with passion. “I’ve waited so long,” he rasps, his eyes boring into yours. His forehead falls against your own. “I was starting to think I’d have to be content, making new memories, but here you are. My little sorceress.”

You don’t even realize tears are falling down your face. Your hands desperately touch whatever they can, mapping out his face. He doesn’t stop you, soaking up your affections.

“You’ve always loved me. Through anger, kindness— oh my dragon. My Sylus.”

There is a hint of a growl at that, and he kisses you deeply. He’s surging forward, using the fact you are in his arms to press you against a tree. The battle is long since over now, and he's focused on you.

“Say it again,” he demands, even as he continues to steal and roam your mouth in between words. It's like he's a man starved. He needs to hear it. He's waited so long.

He gave up everything for just the hope of you remembering again, and here you were. Sylus needed to hear these words as sure as he needed to breathe.

“Mine. My dragon!” You say in-between giggles and his incessant lips. You aren’t complaining though. He peppers against your skin, every inch that he can find. All while you're crying happy tears. "Don't leave. Never again." You say, over and over.

"A dragon never leaves its treasure," he says, his forehead finally pressing against yours. His eyes closed, as if he's breathing you in, feeling this moment. "And you're the most valuable treasure a creature could ever have."

[bows4tyun]

ENLIGHTEN ME - ! ⸝⸝ 강태현

୨ৎ: ""I'm a virgin, not a virgin loser, there's a difference, dumbass." taehyun spat out harshly and scoffed, "I can't believe you thought so low of me, but it's cute of you to think I was a virgin loser like you." he faked a smile, angering you a bit. of course he had to be the smart ass one. "

𓍼 paring! - knowledgeable virgin!taehyun x virgin!reader (f)

𓍼 warnings! - roomates to ?, mean dom!taehyun (he's extra mean!), sub!reader, they kinda hate each other, taehyun basically teaches reader how to fuck, groping, nipple play, oral (m. receiving), cum consumption, unprotected sex, slut shaming, taehyun calls reader a slut (and bitch but only once)

𓍼 lexi adds! - as the winner of the poll, here is knowledgeable virgin tyun!!! this came out a lot longer than i thought and I couldn't help but make tyun an extra mean dom!

if someone had told you that your roommate, taehyun was a virgin, you wouldn't have believed them.

he was the last person on earth that you'd think of as a virgin, but apparently you thought wrong. it wasn't until his best friend, beomgyu had told you the truth that you were in for a treat.

taehyun had invited beomgyu over without telling you, meaning you had come back from work and had a mini heart attack when you saw beomgyu's sleeping form sprawled on the small living room couch.

"taehyun!" you yelled, your voice echoing through the hall of your shared apartment.

you thought he wasn't home until you saw the upper half of his body pop out from his room, "hm?" his tone innocent as his cold yet cute boba eyes stared at your angered form.

"what is he doing here?" you questioned, your voice loud as you turn your gaze to beomgyu, not caring of waking him up from his beauty sleep.

"would you quiet it down? you'll wake him up." he spoke back sternly. you look back at taehyun, and when you do you notice something, he's shirtless.

you feel the blood rush to your cheeks as they warm up and you cover your eyes with your hands, "put some clothes on!" you say, trying to hide the very evident blush on your face.

"what's the big deal? never seen a man shirtless before? grow up." his words come out as almost teasing yet harsh and you scoff.

"I have seen a man shirtless, I just don't want to see you shirtless." the blush on your face was practically gone with the way you were talking back to him.

"what are you trying to imply, huh?" taehyun spoke as he approached you, still shirtless, a shirt in hand.

before taehyun could get too close to you, your life is saved by beomgyu, "hey taehyun, get this motor mouth out of here, im trying to sleep." beomgyu's voice sounded as tired and sleepy as he looked, his hair disheveled from all the tossing and turning.

"you heard him, get." and with that, taehyun points a finger toward the door of your room, insinuating for you to basically get lost.

"I hate you..." you mumbled under your breath as you clenched the strap of your bag tightly and stormed off to your room as told.

"the feeling's mutual, sweetie." beomgyu laughs at taehyun's response, giving him a small "good one" before adjusting his position and getting ready to fall back asleep.

you're caught off guard by the pet name he had called you and you stop in your tracks, turning your head only to an angle where you can see he back of his head, "don't ever call me that again." you threaten. and with that, the door of your bedroom is slammed shut behind you.

⸝⸝

the following day is your day off, meaning you could relax from all the hard work you had put in throughout the week.

starting off your morning slowly, sleeping a few more hours than usual until you're finally completely awake that you get a text from beomgyu:

"your yelling yesterday made me sleep really good,thanks for not kicking me out :)"

with a scoff you reply:

"don't ever scare me like that ever again, give me a heads up next time!"

to your surprise, he's quick to respond:

"okok... wanna know something funny about taehyun? you won't believe it!"

you want to respond with a "no" but curiosity gets the best of you:

"what?" "he's a virgin!" "seriously?" "yeah! can you believe it?" "not really... " "oh c'mon! it's not that unbelievable!"

with that, you don't text him back. was taehyun really a virgin? maybe beomgyu was playing a prank on you. it kind of was a bit hard to believe considering the way he acts around you, all cold and hard headed. maybe you'd ask him about it.

you were enjoying your morning bowl of cereal before taehyun walks in, his hair a mess from not brushing it out as he scratches the back of his neck lazily in his plain white tee and loose fitting pajama pants.

"is that seriously what you're having for breakfast?" he asks with attitude, sitting down with his elbows resting on the kitchen counter.

you nod, chewing your food calmly "yeah, want some?"

despite your somewhat kind offer, his response is full of disgust. "no , there's absolutely no protein in that whatsoever."

you reply back with a scoff, "does it really matter that much? you're so difficult..." you take another bite and taehyun stares at you for a few seconds, his lip twitching as if he were going to smile but stopped himself.

"oh! taehyun, I have something to ask you." you say after swallowing the last bite of your breakfast and your eyes meet with his.

he nods his head nonchalantly, "what's up?"

you're a bit nervous to ask but you anyways, "are you a virgin?"

silence.

his eyes widen and his lips part, shock evident on his face. he's speechless. after a few more silent seconds, he speaks up, "who told you that?"

"beomgyu"

"what an asshole." he said in anger "who does he think he is to tell everyone my secrets? "

you laugh nervously "secrets? so you mean it's true? you're a virgin? a loser?"

"I'm a virgin, not a virgin loser, there's a difference, dumbass." taehyun spat out harshly and scoffed, "I can't believe you thought so low of me, but it's cute of you to think I was a virgin loser like you." he faked a smile, angering you a bit. of course he had to be the smart ass one. "you act as if you're not a virgin too, except, you are a virgin loser." he argued back like his life depended on it.

and you're just as shocked as he was, if not more. "who the hell told you that?" you questioned him angrily, wanting to know the truth.

taehyun lets out a villainous chuckled to your reaction, "no one. I just had a lucky guess. but now I know that my lucky guess was right, you are a virgin loser."

There's a faint pink hue of blush is spreads across your face from both anger and embarrassment "what's the difference?" your tone of voice was loud as you shouted but taehyun didn't even flinch.

"the difference is that I know about sex, you on the other hand have probably never seen a dick before, am I right?" he was right, very right infact.

"stop talking about it!" you spoke, frustrated at how you couldn't get back at taehyun.

"calm down, sweetie" he cooed, tilting his head and smirking at the stressed look on your face, his dimple evident. "wanna help each other out?"

⸝⸝

that's how you ended up here, straddling taehyun, his hands on each of your hips as he stared into your eyes coldly.

being in such and intimate position like this with him made you nervous as you spoke, "d-do you have a condom...?"

he shrugged, "what do you think? would a virgin have condoms?"

you look down, noticing the bulge that at had grown in his pants. heat rises to your face again and you shake your head.

"exactly." he speaks with such bluntness it scares you a bit. "now stop asking dumb questions and get your clothes off."

you obey not wanting to anger him more than he already seemed. he always seemed to be in a bad mood. slowly one by one, you took a piece of your clothes off. it wasn't until you were only in your undergarments that taehyun ripped them off your body, causing you to yelp. "could you be any slower? you're making me not want to take your virginity, this is my first time too, y'know. "

you felt so weird, naked in front of him. he looked at your body as if it were nothing. he definitely didn't act like the virgin he claimed to be.

without saying anything, his pulled his white tee off his body, letting you get a better view of his shirtless form.

you couldn't deny that taehyun was attractive, but seeing him like this made him even more attractive.

"quit staring, will you? don't make this weird." soon, he pulled down his pants enough for his cock to spring out, hitting his lower stomach with a small slap. you back up a bit, his big and thick dick enough to scare you away. how on earth were you supposed to fit that monster inside of you? "why do you look so scared, hm? it's just a dick." he said nonchalantly. just a dick? was he serious?

You take a deep breath, he was right. it wasn't something to be afraid of, this was an experience almost every person on earth had, nothing new. "okay, how do I do this?"

taehyun doesn't talk, instead he guides you hips closer to his, lifting you with ease just enough for you to hover over his dick, your hands on his shoulders as you feel the ghostly touch of his thick tip lining against your tight hole.

"ready? I'll be waiting to decide if I want to be rough or gentle." he says and you nod.

you feel the burn of his thick dick stretching you out, drawing a high pitched moan out of you as your eyes screw themselves shut and your brow furrow.

taehyun lets out a soft yet low groan at the warm feeling of your gummy walls enveloping him oh so tightly. he felt like he could cum right on the spot.

you felt like you were in heaven, his dick felt so snug inside of you, his veins rubbing against your insides, and his tip brushing against your cervix lightly.

"you okay?" he spoke, his tone softer than usual and what you expected.

you mumble a small "yeah" and his lifts your hips up, half of his cock pulled out of your hole before slamming your hips down against his roughly, emmiting a loud yelp from you, "taehyun!"

taehyun only smacks your ass with a lot of force, leaving the stinging sensation to linger on your ass cheek before he does it a for a second time. "shut up, when did I ever say you could speak? greedy sluts stay quiet." his voice sounds the complete opposite of what it sounded like a few seconds ago, his demeanour changing completely.

again and again he continues to lift and slam your hips down on his cock, not giving you the right time to adjust. he gropes your ass roughly as he guides your body down up and down his shaft in a rhythmic pace.

you felt like you were going to explode from pleasure. how can anyone's first time be this good?

you were already fucked so dumb on his cock and he had barely even started. he threw his head back, his bobbing adam's apple visible from the new angle.

suddenly, you felt the strong urge to release, your first ever orgasm. you gripped taehyun's shoulders tightly, your hole doing the same with his dick, clenching around him as if it were your last day on earth. "taehyun -! I'm going to cum! ah-!"

he groaned at the feeling, smacking your ass even harder than last time, causing you to launch forward, your head resting on your shoulder as he continued his relentless and merciless thrusts.

"I said to fucking shut up! I don't want to say it again, bitch." he spat out his words like fire and you felt his hand leave your ass and start griping your breasts, squeezing the soft flesh and tweaking your sensitive nipples, leaving you to fuck yourself on his cock.

pathetic whimpers escaped past your lips, trying to keep quiet as you were told, yet it was so hard to do when his cock was hitting the right bundle of nerves over and over again.

with a smack on your ass and a loud moan of his name, you came undone on his cock, squirming at the feeling as you pant heavily.

taehyun pulls out, drawing a whine from you and he smacks your ass. he begins to stroke himself throwing his head back.

he looks at you with lustful eyes and grabs a handful of your hair, "suck." he commands, bringing your head down to the level of his cock. it's glistening with your juices and you take it into your mouth, barely able to fit it between your lips because of his girth.

you begin to suck and it doesn't take long for you to feel his warm and sticky cum shoot to the back of your throat. Your eyes widen and you look up at him with your mouth full of his cum, he's all sweaty, his bangs sticking to his forehead as he pants to catch his breath.

"swallow." he says inbetween pants and your mouth leaves his dick with a pop. when you swallow, you wipe your chin with the back of your hand, collecting the excess juices that had dripped down.

you sit up on your knees, both of you guys staring at each other from across the bed.

taehyun is the one who decides to beeak the silence

"this may or may not mean we're dating."

𓍼 taglist! - @hyunj00 (please lmk if you want to be added to my taglist!!)

reblogs are appreciated!

[getobitchs]

What You Took From Me - R. S.

✧.* content warning : angst, fluff ig?

✧.* w/c : 1.07k

✧.* n/a : nothin

✧.* tagline : @sugurus-thoughts ; (text me to be on the next tagline)

₊ ⊹🪻 ✧ ˚i

The Heian era was a time of elegance and tradition, where the beauty of the cherry blossoms mirrored the fleeting moments of happiness that mortals clung to. For you, life had once been simple, your days spent tending to the small garden by your family’s home, your nights bathed in the soft glow of moonlight. Until him.

Sukuna.

You had met him by chance — or so you had believed. A man of devastating beauty and an aura that sent chills down your spine, he was both terrifying and magnetic. Sukuna wasn’t just a man; he was a force of nature. A god among mortals, cloaked in an ever-present air of danger and power.

Yet, despite the fear he inspired, he had chosen you. Out of all the women in the land, it was you who had caught his eye. And in an act of defiance against both his nature and the world that feared him, he had married you.

At first, you had been afraid, unsure of his intentions. But Sukuna — when he wasn’t reigning over curses or instilling fear — had been a surprisingly gentle husband. He brought you rare flowers, sat beside you while you worked in the garden, and listened as you spoke of your dreams and fears. He wasn’t one to smile often, but when he did, it was like the sun breaking through a storm.

You fell in love with him, despite the warnings whispered by the wind and the shadowy aura that clung to him like a second skin. And for a time, you were happy.

But time was unkind to mortals.

Your health began to wane, your once-strong body betraying you as the years passed. You tried to hide it, to keep the growing weakness in your limbs and the ache in your chest a secret, but Sukuna knew. He always knew.

He watched helplessly as you grew weaker, his frustration manifesting in the crackle of his cursed energy. He could destroy entire villages, topple kingdoms, and command legions of curses, but he couldn’t stop the inevitable march of time. He couldn’t save you.

You died one spring morning, the scent of cherry blossoms heavy in the air. Sukuna had held you in his arms as you took your last breath, his four crimson eyes fixed on your face as though he could will you back to life.

“I’ll find you,” he had murmured, his voice breaking in a way you had never heard before. “No matter where you go, I’ll find you again.”

And then you were gone.

Centuries passed.

For years after your death, Sukuna clung to his memories of you, reliving every fleeting moment of happiness he had shared with you. He tried to forget, to bury your image beneath the blood and chaos of his reign, but no matter how much he destroyed, no matter how many lives he claimed, your face always lingered in the corners of his mind.

When he was eventually sealed, he welcomed the silence. If the world had nothing left to offer him, perhaps oblivion was the only answer.

But fate is cruel, and the threads of destiny are never truly severed.

In 2018, Sukuna awakened, dragged back into the world through forbidden sorcery. It was a strange new time, filled with loud machines, flashing lights, and a world that had forgotten his name. He should have reveled in the opportunity to spread fear and reclaim his throne, yet his mind was elsewhere.

The centuries had dulled nothing. He still thought of you. Your laughter, your touch, the way you had looked at him as though he weren’t a monster. He had lost you once, and the thought of living without you again filled him with an ache he couldn’t name.

Then, one ordinary evening, he saw you.

You were standing outside a café, bathed in the soft glow of a neon sign, your laughter carrying over the hum of the city. Time seemed to freeze. Sukuna’s crimson eyes locked onto you, his heart — something he had long believed dead — thudding painfully in his chest.

It was you.

You looked different, your modern clothes and styled hair unfamiliar, but there was no mistaking you. The shape of your smile, the way you tilted your head as you laughed — it was the same as it had been centuries ago.

For a moment, he could only stand there, staring. He had spent so long believing he would never see you again that the sight of you now felt like a dream.

You didn’t notice him at first, engrossed in your conversation with a friend. But then your eyes flickered toward him, and the world shifted.

You froze, your laughter dying in your throat as your gaze met his. There was no recognition in your eyes, but something passed between you — a spark, a faint pull that made your heart stutter.

Sukuna crossed the street without hesitation, his movements as smooth and predatory as they had been in the Heian era. He stopped in front of you, towering over you, his presence commanding your full attention.

“Can I help you?” you asked, your voice polite but wary.

His gaze softened as he took you in, his crimson eyes scanning your face for any hint of familiarity. “Do you believe in fate?” he asked, his voice low and resonant.

You blinked, startled by the question. “I… I guess?”

His lips curled into a smirk, though it lacked the malice it usually carried. “You should.”

Your friend nudged you, murmuring something about him being strange, but you didn’t move. There was something about him that felt… familiar.

“Have we met before?” you asked, your voice hesitant.

His smirk faltered for just a moment, replaced by something more vulnerable. “In another life, perhaps.”

You didn’t understand what he meant, but there was something in his gaze that made your chest ache, a strange and inexplicable feeling of loss and longing.

Sukuna didn’t press further. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to frighten you or risk losing you again. But as he turned to leave, he glanced over his shoulder. “We’ll meet again,” he said, echoing the promise you had made to him centuries ago.

You stood there, watching him disappear into the crowd, your heart heavy with an emotion you couldn’t name.

And for the first time in centuries, Sukuna felt hope.

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 18

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

..........................................................

Ananya woke up the next morning, with Jude holding her close. Still on their sides, facing each other, his arm on her waist and one of his legs resting in between hers. Only difference being he was on the end of his pillow now, not hers.

She sighed & looked at his peaceful resting face, a picture of perfection. His features soft yet sharp. Manly yet boyish. The dichotomy never failed to amaze her. God must truly be proud of this particular creation of his.

He was here. He was really here. Not a figment of her imagination that she had conjured up in her despair yesterday.

Slowly, she traced his cheek with the back of her index finger. Rest of him was just hard muscle, but his face was soft. The skin feeling warm & squishy under her touch. He stirred a little, but his breathing evened again, and she resumed her exploration.

The trim seemed fresh, suiting him perfectly, but it was a tad too fine on the sides. She made a mental note of telling him that.

Her finger slid to his firm, muscly neck, lingering there. Something about his neck always did things to her. His pronounced Adam’s Apple always catching her attention. 

She could do this all day, just admire his beauty & soak in his presence. Especially after yesterday, when she had nearly lost it all. Again. 

‘Ummm colddd.’

Her hands were somehow always colder than the rest of her body, even under a blanket. Jude often called it a mystery.

Keeping his eyes still firmly shut, he reached for her palm blindly and then put it inside his sweatshirt, on his chest, warming it with his body heat. The gesture turning her into mush. She was about to hug him dearly but Jude being Jude said something wildly unexpected before that.

‘So you touch me often while I sleep?’

She stilled, gaping at him. He peeped one eye open, while rubbing sleep out of the other one. Even half-asleep he was notorious.

‘W-what?’

He scooted closer on the pillow, noses touching, as his lips curved up into a half-smirk.

‘Where all do you touch me?’

‘JUDE.’

‘Can I do it to you too?’

‘Stop right n..’

‘Imagine waking up with my head between your legs, huh? Or my hand? Bet you’d like it.’

‘YOU LITTLE ASS.’

‘Nothing about me is little, darling. You of all people should know it. And definitely not my ass, you love it.’

‘I hate it.’

‘Lies on Christmas? What would Santa say?’

‘Santa would understand, since I have to deal with a demon like you.’

‘Please, you adore me.’

‘Let me go.’

She struggled to get out of his hold but his grip was tight and his booming laugh quickly eroded the fight in her (plus she never actually wanted to get out of his arms, not really), making her giggle too at the silliness of it. The sound was music to his ears.

Jude buried his head in her hair.

‘Merry Christmas Eve, darling.’

His accent was somehow thicker in such moments, each word ringing distinctly in her head.

‘To you too, Jude!’

She knew he had done this to lighten the mood, and she was secretly thankful. Her emotions were still all over the place after yesterday, and were threatening to bubble over any instant. 

Ananya turned in his arms, facing him again, and was met with a charming, dashing grin. The boy should just be illegal, head to toe. She couldn’t help herself from reaching over and kissing his cheek.

‘When did you know?’

‘Know what?’

Jude knew very well what she was asking but he loved to play this game with her.

She rolled her eyes loudly and he quit the teasing.

‘Sometime after the dinner with the three of us. I think Jobe said something which I couldn’t stop thinking about, and then one thing led to another. I knew that night.’

‘So without him you won’t have realised?’

‘Sometimes I need help with these things. But honestly, I think I’ve loved you long before. That night just put things in perspective.’

‘Hmm.’

‘Don’t leave me hanging now. Tell me about you, when did you know?’

Flashes of that night came to her mind, when she had nearly blurted it out unknowingly. She told him she didn’t know the exact moment either but that was when she realised. Jude remembered that night. He knew something was off when she had dashed to the washroom like that but could never imagine the reason to be this. Until now.

‘I guess, somehow without me realising, you just clawed your way into my heart.’

‘I’m quite a clawer for what I really want.’

‘Clearly.’

They fell into a comfortable silence, her head lying on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythmic beating of his heart. While his fingers threaded through her hair.

‘I love dove.’

She looked up then.

‘Dove is love. So lovey dovey. Look it all fits. I’m so creative.’

‘You’re so silly is what you are.’

‘Pls, you’re jealous of my genius.’

‘Sure.’

‘Where’s my Christmas present?’

‘It’s….in the works.’

He looked at her suspiciously. But how was she supposed to know things would materialise in this way? She had assumed she would have more time till she saw him again, before her trip to India. 

‘Honestly, I didn’t forget. It’s in the works.’

‘Gimme a hint?’

‘In a way it’s similar to yours. In a way.’

‘You’re writing something? Making something?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh I CAN NOT wait.’

‘Soon, baby.’

‘You’ll beat me, won’t you? It’s gonna be better than mine?’

‘Gosh it’s not a competition. And for the record, nothing could be better than yours. Not in a million years.’

‘Now that you say it..’

He preened a little under her praise and she found even that endearing. God help her!

But something was nagging her, something that she needed to let out.

‘Jude.’

‘Yeah?’

‘I was too harsh yesterday. Some things I said….I’m sorry.’

‘You were angry & hurt. It’s not your fault. Plus you were mostly right.’

‘But still I…maybe shouldn’t have said a few things….I didn’t mean them.’

Her hand gripped his sweatshirt and she sank further into his chest. Jude cupped her face with one hand, while his other hand ran up & down her back.

‘Shhh. It’s ok. Just tell me this - at any point, did you really believe I’d walk out on you like that?’

She took a deep breath. In her attempt to alleviate the pain, she had tried to convince herself of a lot of things. But the answer to his question was clear.

‘No.’

‘And did you know I’d fight for you? Come back for you?’

‘Yes.’

‘That’s it then. That’s all I need - your love & trust. With that, we can get through anything.’

Overwhelmed, she snuggled into him, trying to crawl under his skin to get a load of his warmth and his scent. He held her tight through it.

‘Maybe we should talk about a few things though. Like what you said about my Insta likes.’

‘Now?’

‘Now’s as good a time as any.’

Reluctantly, she nodded, asking him to go on.

‘I thought about what you said. I’d be more mindful going forward. You won’t have any complaints. But if you do, will you please tell me then & there?’

‘Yes. Ok.’

‘It’s your right Ananya. You need to understand that. Believe that. Truly. You have a right over me, like I have a right over you.’

‘I hear you.’

‘Pls be more vocal with me. I need that. I’d love that. I’m not good at reading between the lines, you would have seen that by now. So pls help me there.’

‘I-I’ll try.’

‘Great. One more thing.’

‘What?’

‘Is the 100 Euro threshold still on?’

Ananya had set that as an upper limit for him to get her anything. This was her way to have a middle-ground to still let him get her stuff but nothing expensive.

‘What made you ask that?’

‘Because now we’ve said we love each other. And I wanna spoil you, like I do for the other people I love.’

She looked at him tentatively, and he knew the answer before she said anything.

‘I’d really appreciate it if we could stick to the threshold. For now.’

If Jude was disappointed, he didn’t let it show on his face.

‘Ok.’

‘Did I upset you?’

‘No, it’s fine.’

She reached out to cup his cheek. 

‘It’s not about you. Even with my parents, I haven’t taken a cent since I took up this job. And I don’t wanna take anything from them for my MBA also. Both Stanford and Harvard are expensive, but if I do well at work I’d get a full scholarship from my company. That’s why I applied for this team - more work, higher stakes but better incentives. Just trying to make my own way in this world and I am a bit of a stickler for that. And I get that you’re not trying to interfere with that in any form, that this is just your way to express yourself but pls give me some time to get accustomed to it. Also, it’s the gesture that counts right? Not the price tag.’

He turned his face to gaze his lips against her palm.

‘I respect that, really.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I’m glad you are telling me things like these, makes me feel closer to you.’

He had said that last night also. And she had felt it too. Strangely, this had not been an issue in her previous relationship. But somehow, with Jude, she hadn’t been able to communicate as effectively. For no fault of his.

Maybe because she didn’t feel inadequate with her ex. But with Jude, it was another story. Maybe, she should tell him that.

‘I-I saw her yesterday. Her pics.’

Jude sighed. He could already tell how she would have tortured herself in a thousand different ways and where all her mind would have gone.

‘Ok. And?’

‘And - I can’t be like that.’

‘Who’s asking you to be like that?’

‘Won’t you? At some point?’

‘Have I done anything to make you feel that way?’

‘No, but…’

‘But what?’

‘You’re 20 Jude. You may not know what you want.’

‘You’re 20 too.’

‘Yes. But age & maturity work differently in men & women. You said it yourself.’

Jude took a few deep breaths to calm his head before responding.

‘That maybe true. But I know that I want you just the way you are. And that my days of straying are over.’

‘Your friend had a different opinion.’

Jude looked at her with confusion and she referred to the video of his Dortmund friend Gio saying Jude would be the last person he’d want his sister to date, and that there were various reasons for that which he couldn’t get into.

‘Wow, stalking me much?’

She just shrugged.

‘Ananya, that was before us. And it was a joke answer to a hypothetical question.’

‘A joke answer based on some facts?’

Silence for 2 seconds.

‘Yes. But it’s in the past.’

‘Don’t wanna go back to that life? To just have fun?’

‘No. And I do have my fun with you.’

‘What changed?’

‘You. I met you.’

She looked at him with such a mix of earnestness and residual doubt that he felt like his heart would explode in his chest.

Jude kissed her lips for a good 30 seconds, calming both their nerves.

‘Baby, listen to me yeah? The kind of life & women you are talking about, I had that. In abundance. And I thought that would suffice for the next few years. That it would be ‘fun’ for the next few years. Till it's time to settle down. But somewhere along the way I started to get bored. It became just about some initial flirting then sex. And that was it, nothing after that. No conversation, no companionship, nothing. I didn’t even spend the night in the same bed, didn’t want to. There was no one to come home to. No one to talk to after a good day or a bad day. No one to share my thoughts with. No one to take me away from reality when the day-to-day became too heavy. No partner. No confidante. No one to love. No one to spoil. No one to watch a movie with or share a laugh with. No one to anchor me. No one to understand what this game and this club means to me. And I didn’t really know of this void till I met you. Remember how we talked for hours on our first date? I don’t even recollect the last time I had that or even wanted that with anyone. But you - you changed everything. And I know you’d call it cheesy but I kinda just had this feeling about you, from the moment I saw you in that cafe.’

‘It is cheesy.’

‘Such a hater.’

She shrugged. Jude knew she didn’t believe in fairy tales any more but he also had a feeling there was a time when she did. Then it all changed, maybe after her breakup. Since then she had hardened her heart and strived to become more practical. But in time, she’d believe in destiny again. Because he had started to believe in it now, since he met her. It could only be destiny which made his mother suggest that cafe, for him to stop there that day and look out the window. And everything that transpired after that. He was convinced it was written somewhere. It was ironic, because it felt straight out of a movie. And Jude wasn’t particularly fond of these rom-coms  (while she loved them wholeheartedly). But the tables had turned and he’d become a believer now.

‘ANYWAY, like I was saying, it all changed with you. I keep repeating it like a broken record, and will probably do that till you actually believe it, that I’m completely obsessed with you. I love every side of you - smart, opinionated, headstrong, feisty, sweet, kind, thoughtful, shy, football fanatic, Madridista. Just everything. Never met anyone like you. You want me for me, not the other things that come with it. Heck you would have liked me a lot more easily had those things not been there. Do you understand how rare that is? I know the feminist in you would scoff at this but most women I’ve met want me for other things. It’s true, don’t look at me like that. And you know what’s the sexiest thing about you? That you actually have no clue how sexy you are. You’re like a sexy little kitten. When you talk on your work calls in words I don’t even understand, it gets me so hot I can’t explain. Many times I’ve considered just grabbing you then & there. Have pictured taking you on your office desk, or on a conference room table, right after a big presentation. Don’t know what witchcraft it is that you’re looking so alluring even in this baggy night-suit. The definition of temptation from the Garden of Eden. Why do you think guys hit on you? Why do you think that lee….that colleague of yours fell for you? Dove, I can’t wait to show you off to people whenever we decide to go public. You’re perfect for me, just as you are.’

Her eyes were lowered, as she clung to him while hearing him profess how desirable he found her in that disarming baritone of his. The colour starting to seep into her cheeks & neck.

Jude sighed loudly, cupping her cheek.

‘I think of this flush when I touch myself.’

She slapped his chest.

‘Shameless boy.’

‘What? Sharing things with my girlfriend is shameless? I’d call that healthy communication. You should try it sometime.’

‘Yeah right.’

‘No seriously. Tell me something about my ass. I know you check it out all the time.’

The confident smirk was on in full force now.

‘You really are a menace.’

‘Thank you.’

He chuckled, the sound & his pretty face making her smile too.

Jude leaned over to kiss her cheek and they snuggled into a comfy embrace again, his big arms engulfing her, neither wanting this moment to end. After a few seconds, curiosity got the better of him.

‘Dove?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You think I’m too possessive?’

‘Where did that come from?’

‘Just something you said yesterday.’

‘I never said that.’

‘Not directly. But felt like you implied it.’

She rose up slightly, leaning on her elbow, looking down at his waiting eyes. His face so open & transparent. In his closed circle, Jude really walked the talk of sharing everything. With him, what you see is what you get. He would just blurt out the most random of things sometimes but no one could call him secretive, not with the people he truly loved.

It made her want to share too. But words were hard to come by. Mostly because that phase of her life she had locked away somewhere in her heart, never to revisit. Never to mull over. 

‘I don’t mind it. In fact, I sorta like it. Shows me you care. It’s different from what I’ve…..experienced before.’

Jude knew where this was going, and he patiently waited for her to continue at her own pace. She looked away & chose to share one particular instance to show what she meant.

‘Once, we were in a club in Goa. After our final term got over. We were in a big group but the two of us had separated mid-way. I was waiting for him to get a drink from the bar. A guy came over, quite drunk, and asked me to dance with him. I said no and he walked away, no fuss there. When my boyfriend….ex boyfriend came back I told him this and he wasn’t bothered at all. In fact he was like you could try it out, it was just a dance, just an experience. I didn’t get it at all. Like I can’t explain, it wasn’t a big thing, not like he did something major but it just made me feel a little less wanted.’

She turned to look at him, he was still listening to her intently. 

‘I know you would never do that.’

‘Never.’

He responded without missing a beat. She smiled.

‘I know, and I like that.’

‘Well, I’m glad. Coz I don’t know how to be any different when it comes to you.’

She stroked his cheek softly.

‘You don’t need to be.’

He covered her hand with his, holding it there.

‘If you don’t mind, what happened there? With him?’

Her face dropped, and she buried her face into his neck, fingers playing with the fabric of his sweatshirt.

‘You don’t have to tell me, but tell someone. It feels like it’s weighing on you, and the weight will only grow with time.’

Jude was right. She hadn’t really talked about it in detail even with her close friends back home. Not even her cousin. The official line she had used was that they grew apart, not much beyond that. Locking it away seemed like the best choice at the time, because the separation made her weak and desperate and she hated to be in that state. Hated seeing herself like that. She never revisited it later because what if thinking about that made her weak again? It was much easier to just zone out of it. But that wasn’t particularly healthy. She was surprised though that Jude had caught on to that.

‘Listening to me talk about my ex is not weird for you?’

‘I want you to talk to me about anything you feel. Wanna be your friend too.’

‘Hmm.’

She considered that for a bit, while he gently ran his fingers through her hair. Somewhere along the way she started talking.

‘We always knew we were very different in personalities. And after a point it started bothering him, though in the beginning he always told me we’d find a mid-way. Honestly, I didn’t do enough to find a mid-way too, it was my fault as well, but at least I tried. After a point, when he thought it was too hard, he stopped trying. He loved me a lot, not denying that, but it came down crashing very quickly when he checked out mentally. Which is why he got over it quickly too, he’s very practical that way. Always told me to never get too attached to anyone and never have too many expectations. I was not his first love, he had his heart broken by his high-school crush, which made him practical. But he was my first love, my first in everything, and I fell head over heels. He told me many times to not make my life all about him, and he was right there, it’s not good for either party. But I understood all that a lot later, when he was at a point of no return. He never really looked back, and it was hard for me to handle. So I cut off from him and that set of friends completely. It was easier to not see him at all than to see him completely alright. When I was nowhere close to it. This was in April. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since then. He’s not on socials so that makes it easier to cut off too. This wedding I’m going for would be the first time I see him in months. ’

It was all starting to make sense to Jude. Why she was the way she was and why she tried so hard to keep her guard up. 

That he was going to be at the wedding was not news to Jude, Ananya had told him well in advance. And it didn’t bother him. Well, mostly it didn’t bother him. 

‘I’m sorry you had to go through this.’

‘Hmm.’

‘Look at me.’

He tilted her chin to look into her moist eyes.

‘What did I say about tears?’

She wiped her eyes with the back of her arm.

‘Sorry.’

‘Baby - I’m sorry you had to go through this. But without that, you wouldn’t have come to Madrid and would never have met me.’

‘Yeah.’

‘It’s meant to be, I’m telling you.’

‘When did you become so cheesy?’

‘Your fault. You are doing things to me I don’t understand.’

‘Oh Jude.’

She turned to find his lips, kissing him dearly. He kissed back with equal fervour, flipping them to get on top of her.

The kiss became heated in no time and she knew where it would go if she didn’t stop him. So she rolled out from underneath him, leaving him high & dry, scooting away to the edge of the bed.

‘Excuse me?’

‘Excused.’

‘Thought we were having a moment there?’

‘We were. Then it ended.’

‘Thought I was punished enough yesterday. Clearly not.’

‘Told you I need some time.’

‘Fine.’

He sulked, tucking his arm under his head, watching her tidy up the room a bit.

‘Jude, you need to leave now.’

‘So you’re kicking me out also? Boy you’re cruel.’

‘It’s Christmas Eve. You need to be home. Now get up & leave. You promised.’

‘I said afternoon. It’s 11 am right now.’

‘Fine. Then go take a shower in Roma’s room, I’ll take one here & make some breakfast and then you will leave.’

‘Can I take a shower with you?’

She crossed her arms.

‘What do you think?’

He tried a different strategy.

‘Can I draw you a bath?’

She narrowed her eyes at him.

‘I’m good at those. Honest.’

‘Fine.’

He jumped up from the bed like a toddler who had been told he could skip school today, and headed straight to her washroom, banishing her from coming inside till he called her in.

When he did call her in, the place had turned into a mess but the bath-tub sure looked inviting, bubbles foaming well above it.

‘Thank you.’

‘I’ll help you get in.’

‘Didn’t know I needed help with that.’

‘Floor is wet. You need help.’

Amused, she decided to play along.

‘Fine.’

She tied her hair in a bun & took off her clothes. And Jude tried really hard to keep his eyes on her face. Really hard.

He extended his hand to her which she took, and he carefully guided her inside the tub. She hummed while sitting down, the hot bubbly water providing instant soothing.

‘Thank you Jude, this is lovely.’

‘I could help wash you with the loofah.’

She smiled. It was glaringly obvious what he was trying to do but it was cute as well.

‘Fine.’

He smiled wholeheartedly. And for a second she forgot what game he was playing.

Jude fetched the loofah and started with her arms, running it softly over her skin. She moaned a little, which was not helpful for his nether regions. He went to her legs and she moaned harder. Jude wondered if she was doing it on purpose to torment him but her eyes were shut and her face looked so innocent it couldn’t be so. 

Somehow, he carried on and moved to her back, but the angle was restrictive.

‘I could do it better if I’m inside.’

‘You wanna join me in the tub?’

‘Just to help wash you.’

‘Sure.’

Jude took off his clothes then, and she had to look away to not break her resolve. It didn’t help though, coz when he sat down he pulled her back to his front, and it was hard, so hard to remain unaffected. 

He continued the charade & rubbed the wet object down her front, paying special attention to her chest. She threw her head back & moaned, which made him groan too.

‘A little mercy here?’

‘This is your doing.’

Defeated, he carried on. The object tickled her tummy & she giggled a little. But the giggles died in her throat when he moved to her thighs. His actions slow & deliberate. Measured. 

‘Ju-de.’

‘Yeah baby? Want something?’

She whimpered as his hands continued going lower down her thighs, till the very apex of them. There, he stopped.

‘Don’t think this can go here, right?

‘Ermm no.’

‘Gonna have to use something else then?’

‘Y-yes.’

He threw the loofah away. And prodded at her sensitive folds with his long, strong fingers, pushing one inside her.

She shuddered & fell back against him, and his other arm came around her waist to support her.

‘Why deny yourself? Why not take what you want?’

He whispered in her ear. Despite being in hot water, her whole skin tingled with goosebumps.

The way his finger was filling her up made her head swirl. Her own touch wasn’t good enough anymore, since she had met him. It did nothing for her; her body ached for him whenever she had tried to tend to it last week. And now he was here. Offering to please her. How could she resist?

‘Yes? Say yes, baby.’

He punctuated that with perfectly timed thrusts of his finger, adding another one in, making it impossible to say no.

‘I love you.’

He cooed behind her. The words which were her ruin. Her undoing. 

‘YES. God yes.’

‘Such a good girl. Gonna take care of you now.’

His fingers moved gloriously inside her. Doing all kind of things to her insides. When he added his thumb to massage her sensitive spot, she shuddered violently and water fell from the sides of the bathtub, making him smile.

She needed more of him. Craved more of him.

‘Ju-de.’

‘Turn around. Hold my arm.’

He guided her carefully to turn and sit in his lap, bending her legs at her knees. She looked like a goddess, a wet naked Greek water goddess. 

‘Come here you.’

He grabbed the side of her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, plunging straight in, pouring all his longing into it. She whimpered & tried to hold his arms or the side of the tub but it was all slippery & she couldn’t find an anchor. 

The bubbles were hiding her from him. It was a travesty. Jude picked them up in his palms & started throwing them out of the tub, making more of a mess on the floor than it already was. She wanted to protest but his eagerness was endearing. When he had cleared them enough and her torso was visible, he went for her neck & chest, biting & sucking with abandon. Her soft moans filled the room, he revelled in those sounds.

His large palms cupped her butt, kneading them with force, lifting them to lower her gradually on his length. The angle made her feel him deep inside, and she gasped all the way through. 

After going in fully, he gave her time to adjust. She panted a little, trying to find the right slot for her legs to find some balance. The cramped space & his large body not giving her much room. After adjusting to the heavy intrusion, she finally looked at his stunning face. Droplets fell off his sharp jaw sultrily, putting her in a trance. If there was something more erotic than naked Jude, it was naked Jude wet. She leaned over to steal a kiss of her own, going for his cheeks first, then the tip of his nose, then finally his lips.

‘My prince.’

She whispered softly, and he preened under her nickname. 

Feeling emboldened, she leaned in again but this time she bit his cheekbones instead, followed by the tip of his nose. He chuckled, and did the same to her, ending with little bites on her bottom lip.

Her hand traced his torso, starting with his muscly neck, moving to his chest hair, then his six-packs and finally his happy trail. The touch sending sparks through both of them. 

‘I can’t wait anymore.’

‘Who’s asking you to.’

With another quick kiss, he grabbed her hips and started moving her on top of him. The angle hitting all the right spots deep inside. He quickly found THE spot & made a beeline for it. She shuddered & mewled & thrashed against him but he didn’t relent, making her peak shortly after. The speed & intensity with which her pleasure was wrung out of her left her completely breathless & spent. But he wasn’t done yet. He kept moving her like a rag doll, stimulating her excessively, till he filled her up with shots after shots of his pleasure. Her clenching muscles squeezing him of every last drop.

She fell forward on his chest, and he held her like a precious flower, rubbing her back softly, pressing kisses to the top of her head.

‘That was….it was…’

‘Amazing? Breath-taking? Out of this world?’

He grinned against her forehead. Her hand reached up to caress his cheek.

‘Yes. Because you are all of those things.’

‘Look at you, being mushy in love.’

She met his playful eyes then.

‘You’re doing things to me I don’t understand either.’

‘Why thank you.’

‘You’re also incredibly silly and say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times to completely kill the moment.’

‘But you still love me.’

‘Sadly, I do.’

It was getting late. She had to be the adult here. Grudgingly, she got out of his arms and out of the tub, leaving him behind to clean the mess while she made them some breakfast.

Jude entered the kitchen 10 mins later with water still dripping from his hair. She shooed him out, admonishing him for making a mess of the whole apartment.

Mumbling under his breath as to how she was so mean to him at times, Jude fixed his hair & the floor. Then plopped on the couch, one leg resting on the back of it.

He perked up when she emerged from the kitchen with two plates of French toast, a favourite for both of them. Jude pulled her next to him, and they ate side by side.

It was time. To leave.

‘Call Agnes. You’re going to the airport now.’

‘One more hour.’

‘JUDE.’

‘What? Why are you so eager to see me gone?’

He cried out, almost sounding hurt.

She moved to sit in his lap, and cradled his cheeks in her palms.

‘Baby - it’s Christmas Eve. I know how much you love this time. I know that your family is the most important thing in the world for you. I can’t be the reason to separate you from home right now. I can’t have that on me.’

‘You’re important too.’

He said that matter of factly and she wanted to cry out of love again. 

‘I know. But please, you can go now. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to stay back for me. I know that’s what’s holding you back, but really I’m fine now.’

Jude wasn’t sold. He knew she was still raw & overwhelmed from yesterday. He didn’t want her sitting alone & her mind going places. Her flight was day after tomorrow, she still had two more days here. 

‘What about your other friends? Work friends? They don’t have any plans around this time?’

‘They do..but..’

‘But what?’

She looked up at him, not wanting to say it. But he understood.

‘But he’s gonna be there.’

‘Yeah.’

Jude covered his face with his hands, sighing audibly. It was a rock & a hard place kinda scenario. But her staying alone was not an option.

‘I’ve said no.’

‘What’s the plan?’

‘What?’

‘What’s their plan?’

‘Umm they leave this evening for a cabin on the countryside, a 2 hour drive. Spend tonight & Christmas Day tomorrow there, then return in the evening.’

‘How many people?’

She looked at him oddly, unsure why he was even asking this.

‘5 of them, including him. 1 couple, one other girl, and 2 guys.’

‘What’s the sleeping situation gonna be?’

She rolled her eyes.

‘3 bedrooms. They offered to have me in with the other girl.’

‘Who called you for this?’

She rolled her eyes loudly again. As if Arjun would call her to invite her, after how awkward things had been between them.

‘Anna - the other girl.’

Jude covered his head with his hands again. Trying to reach a decision, while she sat confused. 

‘Go.’

‘What?’

‘You’re going.’

‘No I’m not.’

‘I don’t have a problem with this.’

‘Tell that to your face.’

‘Ok I do have a big problem with this. But I can’t have you here alone. So you’re going. Call them & confirm now.’

‘Jude - I don’t want any drama. It’s not worth it.’

‘I’ll behave myself, promise. Just don’t…don’t tell me anything about it. About him. Unless something major happens, I don’t wanna know anything. I’ll just pretend he’s not there.’

She looked at him incredulously.

‘You? You’re saying you don’t wanna know about him?’

‘Yes I’m making an exception. Look, anyone else I can handle, but that….that creature…I…’

‘You hate him. I know.’

‘Understatement of the century. But yeah.’

‘Jude, I don’t have to go. It’s not worth it.’

‘You’re either coming home with me or going with them. Pick.’

He didn’t leave her with any option. Going home with him she’d never pick, it was too soon, especially after all the drama that had just transpired. She was mortified enough that her parents got to know about them this way. 

‘Fine.’

‘Message them now. I wanna see it.’

‘And I’m the Hitler?’

‘Mostly yes.’

She sent the message, received a quick excited confirmation then shoved the screen in his face.

‘Happy?’

‘Yes.’

‘I’m telling you now itself it’s not a good idea.’

‘The alternative is worse.’

‘Gosh you’re stubborn.’

‘Look who’s talking.’

‘Ok. Time to go now. Move.’

‘Wait. I just did this immensely mature thing and I don’t get a reward?’

His fingers started caressing up her sides, from where she was sitting in his lap.

‘You’ll get one when we meet next.’

‘Too far out. How about a quick one now?’

‘There’s nothing quick with you.’

‘We can try.’

His grip tightened on her sides as he leaned in towards her chest. She had to stop this now, else he won’t leave for a long time.

Summoning all her will, she batted his hands away and stepped out of his lap.

‘Seriously?’

‘Yes. LEAVE.’

‘My girlfriend leaves me high & dry, then kicks me out ON CHRISTMAS, after I’ve told her I LOVE HER?’

She cocked her head at him. He’d put a toddler to shame with all his histrionics.

‘Enough with this emotional blackmail. Now pick up your things & leave. I’m calling Agnes.’

She followed through and called Agnes the next second. Muttering under his breath, he stood up, went to the bedroom to get his things, then dragged himself back out, shoulders slumped.

Before he was about to open the door, she held his hand, stood on her tiptoes and pulled him down for a soft kiss.

‘I’ll make it up to you, promise.’

‘I’ll hold you to it.’

‘I know you will.’

She kissed him again, and his spare arm wrapped around her waist.

‘Jude, I love you, so so much.’

‘Love you too, my little dove.’

‘Call me after you reach home.’

‘Will do. And text me all the time you are there.’

‘Will do.’

‘And if anything major happens…’

‘Yes I will call you immediately.’

‘I don’t wanna go.’

‘I know. But you have to. And we’ll meet soon. Bye baby.’

‘Bye, darling.’

…………………………………………………………………….

There you go :)

Am still a bit unwell but didn't want to keep you guys waiting anymore. 6.3k words, phew!

2 more chapters to go till the end of the story.

As always, would love to hear your comments / thoughts / messages. That you for all the love to Jude & Ananya!

[themareverine]

Toy Soldiers | part one | worst!wolverine x namelessfem!OC

synopsis: He was just a one of those fast food kid’s meal toys from 1993—key word, was. now he’s Hugh Jackman incarnate, standing in the master bedroom of her midwestern apartment, lost in time and infinity. she’s gotta get him back to his world, where he’s the worst Wolverine, where he belongs—or, maybe not?

warnings: Indian in the Cupboard themes (iykyk), fluff, AU, not entirely sure what else at this point, nameless!femOC with blue eyes could be interpreted as reader, mentions of a best friend named Rose, etc, literally based on this silly little toy I rescued and now have crafted extensive lore for.

a/n: i didn't ask for this to become a multi-chapter thing. i really didn't, ok? this got away from me, but i really love these two so much already. this was fun to write, and she's a fun character to develop. worst!wolverine is just occupying too much brain space.

MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION

Dreaming in color is a pro, when you weigh it against the cons—usually.

She’d been dreaming in movie-like quality since she was a kid, could pinpoint almost to the exact timespace when she first realized her dreams were akin to Hollywood flicks roving about her brain like Spielberg classics.

She’d been six, maybe seven. A hopeless crush on Wednesday night’s Steve Irwin had somehow twisted the innocent power of her brain—the only, almost divine dreamstate visit to Australia she’d ever taken. Still she can taste the hot air, thick with sweat and arid desert, from the back of an obscure Land Rover, jostled and bouncing along forgotten roads and who-knows trails. Eyeballing open sky and endless outback sands, the Crocodile Hunter and his darling wife, Terri, vivid imaginations to a childhood fantasy yet, mostly, unlived. 

And ever since this God-granted, she’d always assumed it was a gift and thus titled it so, she’d been dreaming vividly most of the last twenty four years. Forgetting her dreams was the exception, black and white—unheard of. Tasting, speaking, reading, touch was wrapped up in REM and weighted blankets, vicarious life she’d never, really, lived in her waking moments—everything from the supernatural to gut-wrenching. Martial bliss and familial tragedy. Combat she could only ever hope wasn’t accurate. Fame and fortune. R rated filmstrips that left her stomach light and fluttery every morning, promptly, at 4:45—alarm shrieking in her ear, viscerally ripping her back to the land of the living with frothing teeth, the Greatest Showman custom alarm all but a slap in the face.  

It’s, as usual, dark when the numbers on her phone roll over to 4:45—sucked out of a dream like the vacuum of space itself lays claim to her soul, her eyes flutter open heavily to stare at the alarm. Hugh Jackman would never be so unwelcome as he is now, blaring from little iPhone speakers—she manages to lift a noodle-esque arm to slap at the noise hanging out in the darkness around the vicinity of her nightstand. 

Fingers locate the smooth screen, swipe away the prompt for snooze. Roll over. Hand over her eyes—it’s Saturday The day after Friday, her first day alone all week. World beyond is closed away behind walls and empty schedules, priorities otherwise left-fielded for such days as this.  

Warmth simmers beneath heavy weighted covers, trapped against her body. Clawing up through her mattress, threatening to pull her back into oblivion. Pharaoh’s hadn’t been so mummified, entombed as she is now, but that’s the beauty of a queen mattress left unshared—solidarity. Armies only wish they held such control over real estate as she did these sheets, this bed frame—very little could remove her from the ecstasy that is this Eden, the one place that did not require compliance, performance, untenable perfection.

Here she could rot for hours, engage in adventure that the earth would never understand—that man would jeer. 

Heaving a sigh melts her deeper into her astronaut-designed mattress, stomach suddenly flatter than it’s ever been as gently fingers tease at the strip of skin exposed. Back arching, stirring nearly-paralyzed muscle. Toes skip over warm satin sheets as she navigates to her side, arm tucking beneath her pillow. Drawing blankets to her chin, another deep breath closes her eyes, shuts off her brain—all but ready to return to dreamstate, the screen on her phone illuminates again—diiiiing.

Light explodes, lighting up the area of her nightstand just enough to give purpose to her surroundings. 

Nose scrunching in an effort to unhear and forget the notification, her eyes slowly pull open as she considers the phone. It’s her best friend, she knows it is—Rose is up early. All the time. Taking care of her little family at the base of the Teton mountains, as if this is Little House on the Prairie and such things were the norm.

Her inability to ignore anything from Rose props her up on an elbow, has her reaching for her phone—thumbs the passcodes. Opens the text, eyes scanning the message from last night. 

It’s a photo message. She’d sent it last night, proudly showing off the latest addition to her childhood nostalgia collection—a thrift store find, the little McDonald’s toy is hardly noteworthy. Scuffed and worn, it had seen adventures, surely, in its pre-her-possession life. Surprise had knocked her between the eyes like a stone when she’d managed to spy 1993 printed on the little action hero’s foot, in barely-there legalese. 

At thirty-one years old, one may have expected the little five-cent made-in-Taiwan to end up in the landfill, rotting alongside near-radioactive diapers or kill-the-turtles plastic straws.

Nope, not this one—Marvel’s very own little Wolverine. Dolled up in a cute little sci-fi bronze suit, ready for a fight. Retractable claws, the hardly-scuffed cowl, a proud encircled X in all its glory—wrapped up in a little sandwich baggie marked down at the thrift. She’d almost felt sorry for him in that cute aggressive way. 

And almost giddy at the fluke cocktail of age and condition, she’d pocketed the little guy. A pleased smile, her very own little Wolvie nestled in the leathers of her jacket, then the bottom of her purse. He’d adventured to work with her accidentally on Friday, plastic eyes watching her pass the time at the office from his little perch beside her keyboard and Starbucks. Almost had forgotten him, poor thing—he’d landed on her nightstand among the other needs-put-away items for the weekend, proudly standing in his posed little battle stance.

All he needed was matching Sabretooth, maybe Magneto, and he’d be good to go. 

Looky who came home with *me*, shot over to Rose with a little thrill, a Snapchat-like photo of him perched alongside her night cream and phone charger. More of a proud sentinel guarding her bedside table than anything, she’d regarded him playfully, like a child—had told him to close his eyes when she’d undressed. Had asked him about a movie to watch in bed as she managed hip-opening exercises, relaxing breathing techniques. All but kissed him goodnight, promising to get him settled among her other collectable childhood wonders in the morning.

After coffee and cardio, wouldn’t Hugh be proud. 

Rose’s LOL text all but smiles back at her, and she’s a little cross-eyed from the brightness of her phone. It improves when her eyes skate away from the phone, to the little Wolverine—wait.

Brow furrowing, his absence from the nightstand sparks more panic than she’d be willing to admit in therapy—she bends over the side of her bed, fingertips skating the floor in search of her little plastic wonder. Nothing but plush carpet, abandoned laundry she’d failed to relocate to her drawers—her phone slips from her hand as she hauls herself over the bedside, to peer beneath.

It’s dark, duh, and she fumbles upside-down with the flashlight on her phone. Sun levels of intense light, she makes arching passes beneath her bed, but no dice. Nada. Zilch–zippo on the Wolverine toy. 

“Well this is just a little ridiculous,” her mumble rolls off a dry tongue, from messy hair as she works herself back up from hanging over the bedside. 

Forcing off her weighted blankets has never felt more urgent, importance spiking her blood with ill-placed adrenaline she doesn’t understand—why she cares so much about a little three-decade-old McDonald’s toy she’ll never understand, but the thought of him lost in the abyss of her house is more unsettling, again, than she’d admit in therapy.

Legs swinging over the bed, she plucks her glasses from the tray on her nightstand, grabbing for the light robe dragging the floor from one of the nightstand’s knobs. 

Wrestling a steer would’ve been easier than un-inside-outing the garment, still hazy and half-asleep and wholly uncaffeinated, but she manages. Another scout under her bed reveals that, no, little Wolvie isn’t among the dust bunnies and lint of her carpeted under-bed floor.

Brow furrowing, her glasses slip down her nose as she hauls herself back to her feet, sleep-stiff muscles protesting as she massages the back of her neck. 

Hands on her hips, she reaches for her phone. “Had I known you had teleportation powers, little Lo, I’d have sold you off to NASA—come on,” Triggering the flashlight on her phone again, she dives to check between the headboard and mattress, to see if her Logan lookalike decided to magically dive headfirst into the almost-abyss—

“—you make a habit of talkin’ to open air, girlie?” 

Two things happen immediately in her body. 

First. Alarm jumps up in her chest like a devil, deep claws sinking into the meat of her chest only to rip away any sense of safety taking up residence behind her ribs, in her bones. Heart forgetting to throb, blood all but stands still in her veins, asystole in her arteries—she can feel the lining of her stomach twist into a viper-like coil so cold, she fears frostbite has set into her organs.

Fear knocks hard on the door of her sternum, ripping the wind from her lungs. Terror opens up her vocal cords and bludgeons a song from her throat, but it’s so dry in her apartment that the fleshy membranes of her mouth have all but become cragged Sahara sands. Tongue swelling to the size of her fist, she fears she’ll choke on it. Forces it against the back of her bottom teeth, jaw clenching with enough force to break open the world. 

Legs somehow managing to propel her up onto her mattress, across the bed, to the farthest corner of the space. Cold sweat raises to a dance across her skin, satin sleeping pants clinging to the flesh of her thighs as sapphire eyes attack the figure cutting through the threshold of her door—hands low and open, in placating surrender.

Brow furrowed with canyon deep lines, dark eyes flick over her frame as she takes a step back for each of the ones he cautiously makes into the room. Invading her privacy, an unwelcome intruder. 

“Easy, sweetheart,” early morning gravels his words, which hang low in baritones not at all unfamiliar, “‘m not gonna hurt you. You breathin’ ok?” Genuine concern passes through his eyes, deep and alive, but—not in a bright way. The corner of his lip tips up, “Don’t mean to scare ya, pretty.” 

Pretty? Sweetheart? Who the hell is this—?

Any familiarity his face holds is lost to the bite of adrenaline, slavering teeth trenching into the back of her brain. Seeming to lap at the spinal fluid all but bubbling down the length of her back. Chest heaving with effort, she fears her ribs might break. Cardiac muscle behind her chest bones all but explodes with every heavy heartbeat, reminding her to stay alive. That she, still, is living. 

Stomach sour, twisting like corded steel, she lunges for the foot of her bed—snatched the first thing she can retrieve. Face all but a blazing inferno of heat, nails all but pike into the soft plush of a stuffed animal. Her favorite. Or, rather, was—now little more than a weapon, it stands between her and the invasion like a fortress. 

“What the hell are you doing here,”she challenges, taking a half step back. Memories of kickboxing classes, somewhere in her youth, escape through the fingers of memories in the back of her head. More boxing posture than anything, she lifts her arms to chin level. Fingers tear into the stuffie like it’s a lifeline, like it’s protection. And for now, it is. 

Not giving him the chance to answer, his mouth hangs open in muted response, “This is my apartment—you can either leave or I’ll–I’ll forcibly remove you.” It would take a 911 call—it would mean grabbing her phone from the nightstand, punching the emergency button, and staying away from him during response time. All unlikely, given proximity. The size of the apartment. How he blocks the only damn exit with his huge-ass frame. 

Jaw snapping closed, a thick brow pops up. He chuckles. He think this is funny, “Whoa, take it easy, bub—” 

“—shut up! Stop talking!” Pointing a strong finger at him, she shuffles back on light feet. Bobbing as best she can, trying to appear light. Prepared. But everything in every manual in the world wouldn’t have prepared her for home invasion—all those home defense classes. The hours shooting clays and targets with her father. Worthless. 

I am so going to die. 

Another step into her sanctuary, holy of holies. “Quit moving, damnit!” 

The stranger stops mid-stride, brows arched in surprise at her tone of voice. Squinched nose, and tightly shut eyes add to what must be a comical look on her face. Coupled with crimson cheeks and the shake setting into her hands, she surely looks—well. A sight, if little else.

Realizing nothing short of an eternity has lapsed in the cool peace and blissfully ignorant darkness of closed eyes, hers pop open. She watches has near-pawlike hands, mapped with raised veins and pronounced callous, drop to his sides for all of a minute. Her heart cuts against her ribs like an ax laid to roots, willing to break something loose—he chuckles. Laughs. Some faraway light catches the darkness of his eyes, brightens his face in a way that only ever seemed so Hollywood, but is now real. 

And he laughs with his entire body for all of a few seconds, wrinkles at either side of his eyes deepening into canyons that seem to fill with his amusement, at her expense.Mind short circuiting, her toes curl into the carpet, calluses on her heels catching frayed fibers as she does her best, again, to stay light on her feet. Nothing about her is light, certainly, and she attempts to calculate distance, how many seconds it would take her launch her body forward, toward the door. Past him, into the corridor, out the front door.

 HIs hand extends, palm up. Waving her forward, as if she were some thing to beckon—

—until her stuffie chucks directly at his face, a blur of hot-pink fur and fluff. 

The moment she arched her arm and sent Mr. Hearts on his first-ever attempt of flight, her feet springboard off the carpet, launching her forward at a speed she never thought possible. Adrenaline jumpstarts every one of her cells, lacing through her veins like rocket fuel—and the world spins by in a blur of color, her chest racked with pain as her heart racehorses behind bones that are no less than temperatures akin to magma. 

Tunnel vision blocks out the world, save the nearly sparkling promise of the room’s exit. Tears bubble up on her lash line, hot and intruders on any clarity of brainspace she’s trying to will forward. Hot, breathy fear closes her throat, nothing but blood rivers through her ears—nothing except the ache of her throbbing heart, the painful push and pull of her lungs expanding and retracting. 

They say hearing is the last thing to go when your soul begins to fade into death, but it’s a lie—she can’t hear a damn thing. And she’s more than alive.

Missing completely the soft snikt!, the what-would-usually-be unmissable split of skin, there’s a muffled tearing of fabric as once beloved Mr. Hearts suddenly becomes two halves of himself. Puffy stuffing explodes into the air, faintly she can feel her beloved stuffed animal hit the floor mutedly. In some back door of her brain she knows what’s happened, but survival carries her feet—pumps her arms. Zeroes her gaze on the door, blocks out anything other than the gut instinct to run, run, run hard. 

Finger reach to grab the doorway, hurl herself around the corner—but it’s too late. Electric movement snaps through the air, a microsecond passes before a thick, heavy arm catches her around her waist. Hauls her backward, sucks her from the door like something from  Star Wars, the world spinning by in a Picasso of color and tears as she’s manhandled, forced back. Kicking her feet into the air, she wills him to break, throwing her body mass back, against him. Arches her back. Wrangles and claws at the hair on his arm, the muscle that is taught against her rebellion.  

Throat splitting with a shriek, she’s silenced when his enormous palm claps hard over her mouth. It feels like centuries have passed, but in reality, it’s been seconds. Breaths and heartbeats. Tears trailblaze hot down her face, her throat all but reverberating with sobs. Body heat wraps around her, butter down her spine as the arm around her middle pulls her tighter. Closer. Keep your enemies close—

And he’s tall, legs anchored behind her. Like a brick house. Snot begins to empty her sinuses in a slick, sticky mess. Her mouth attempts to open behind the palm of his hand,all saliva and spit. Doesn’t seem to do much. Digging her heels into the floor, her foot skims the floor. Looks for one of his. Finding it, she slams her heel against would-be soft bones, and he hisses. Grunts like an animal.

“Knock it off,” his baritone rumbles, a dangerous growl over her ear, “not here to hurt you, darlin’.” A lie. She doesn’t believe him, digs her heels farther into the soft flesh of his feet. Buries her nails into his muscle, the soft flesh of that tender spot under the wrist. Veins, lots of blood there. 

Something obscene slips past his lips. Fighting back more stinging tears, his fingers curl around her wrist bruisingly, and with herculean strength, he whips her about-face, suddenly chest-to-chest with her as his fingers fist in her hair. Pulls sharply, “fuckin’ hell—calm the fuck down,” his fingers fall from her hair, instead grab her chin with an almost bruising grip, “stop bawlin’, for Christssake,” 

Her nails milk as they dig into his wrist, deep red lines canyon the hand holding her face with a patience lost to most members of his sex. Hard, dark eyes hold hers with a fierceness that numbs her intestinal tract. For a moment, an arctic swirl is born and dies in his gaze, resurrected instead a hint of grief and—empathy, maybe. A lostness she can’t describe. Confusion punches lines between his knitted brows, etching deep into ruddy, masculine features a kind of unwordly handsome, had he not been sent to kill her. 

Oh God, please—Shaking, her eyes pinch closed again, unwilling to let him see any more of her soul. More snot and tears, saliva pearls between the seam of her lips as she tries, and fails, not to blubber. Knees buckle. Hangs there, full weight of her body supported on her chin between his fingers, jaw suddenly alive with inferno pain. It lasts seconds before he lets her go, and she sinks to the floor, slackdoll and sobbing. Staring across the floor, her cheek burns against the harsh fibers of the floor. 

Her belt. Abandoned, on the floor last night after a work dinner. It’s the only thing, and her brain conjures images of just exactly how she’d use it, suddenly Jackie Chan or GI Jane or some shit she’s seen a thousand times on film, has never executed. Hiccuping in short breaths between sniffles and sobs, tears leak into the carpet off her cheek. Her heart pumps blood that may as well pool into her chest, leak between the cracks in her confidence. 

Stepping back, he looks at her. A cocktail of surprise and irritated, he sinks to a crouch. Shakes off red marks that still linger on his arm, wipe her snot and saliva on his-–are those yellow?-–pants. No time to notice, to care—her nails catch against the fibers of the carpet. Begin to push her bodyweight up, on an elbow. 

Unburdening a sigh, his hand scrubs his face as hers darts across floorspace. Snatching the belt with a speed she’s never fostered, he doesn’t even have time to put two and two together before the leather snaps like a whip, thick silvers from a rodeo buckle landing fully on the bone of his jaw. Cuts a deep line that flashes scarlet, rips open flesh like a fillet knife. 

“Fuck!” it’s harsh, bestial.

Reeling back, she finds time to scramble to her feet like a clumsy foal, looping the belt around her fist once as he pops tall. Backpedaling away from arm’s length, she pistons towards the door, on fire and pumping adrenaline like a sieve. 

And she flies. Out of the bedroom. Down the corridor. Somehow she manages to find her keys on the kitchen table as his heavy, earthshaking feet pump down the hall. Fumbles over her own feet at the front door, slams into it hard, bounces off. Fingers suddenly unable to communicate coherently with her brain, the chain lock on her apartment door is all but burning as she tries, and fails, to work it just so. 

“Come on, come on! Work, you piece of shit—” she’s never sworn more in her life than she has now, and it’s sour, like bile splashing up on her back teeth. But it rips from her throat all the same, bitter and hot, as she mutters fuck, fuck, fuck me! under short, airy breaths that do nothing to put oxygen back into her body. May as well be a drowning soul, the way she sucks in air. Gasps for breath. Drowning or an emphysemic. 

Ignoring the hard breathing behind her is impossible. Whirling around on the ball of her foot, he’s close enough to lock her against the door. Her head falls back hard enough to knock against the door, rattle her teeth. And as her vision begins to settle from the bouncing in her cranium, she sees the three blades bury to the knuckle—the knuckle?—in her heavy, pristine oak front door. Rattles the wall, splits the sheetrock. 

Pupils blown wide, she can feel all the blood leave her body. Terror locks her spine between slavering, hungry teeth. Gaze welded to the blood pearling from fresh wounds between white knuckles, the hinge of her jaw fails. Her mouth opens mutedly, enough for him to count her teeth if he so desired. 

And maybe he does. “Goin’ somewhere, honey,” it isn’t a question. That grin is animalistic. “Stay awhile, huh?” 

He closes in. Her head snaps forward to find him. Nose to nose, he sneers at her, and her eyes think to move to the fillet of open flesh her attack has left on his jawline—or, had. No evidence of even so much as a mark on the sharp line of his jaw, just dark facial hair and sweat that’s bubbling up on his skin, angry red that fans up his neck. Swearing to God she can see the vein in his temple throb with blood, her grip on the leather belt tightens before reality sets in. 

Ohmygod, ”You’re—” her stomach resurrects up her throat. ”—Jesus,” and it isn’t so much a curse as it is a prayer, a hope. A lifeline—grasping at straws, praying something sticks.

Reality begins to fall away, through boneless fingers. Feeling the belt slip from her control, her throat suddenly constricts to the point of oxygen deprivation. Gaping like a fish, her tongue swells to a thick cotton she can no longer feel. 

Numb—everything buzzes with that painful, white-noise needling. 

And she does the only thing her body can manage. Shoves past him just enough to upset a chair—

—-and throws up. 

still working on my taglist but: @thevoicefromanotherworld @sidkneeeee @misscrissfemmefatale and those who showed interest: @ayamenimthiriel @pandapetals @theoreticalfreak @definitely-not-chill @ghostytoasty17 @werewolfpilar

[justmeinadaze]

Not Alone Part 3 (Eddie X You)

A/N: This Y/N is currently me and while out getting snacks I realized I needed to write this into existence. Maybe one day I'll meet a partner like this... If you're spending the holiday by yourself, know you aren't alone <3

Warnings: being alone for the holidays, mentions of grief, Eddie comforting

Word Count: 1056

Eddie Masterlist

Eddie heard it in your voice and saw it in your face when he talked about Christmas with his uncle.

“Yeah, he usually gets the day off so Wayne makes some burgers and we watch A Christmas Story.”

“Aw that sounds like fun!”, you grin as you take in how his face lights up. 

You loved seeing how animated he got when he talked about certain things but when it came to family sometimes his face would drop. He missed his mom and told you that his dad used to ruin the holidays most of the time by being drunk or absent all together. From what he told you, it sounded like Wayne was making up for lost time and new memories that couldn’t be made since his sister-in-law passed. 

“What do you guys do?”

“Oh, uh, my dad used to make a big show of Christmas and make a huge meal. Pull out all the stops.”, you giggle. “He loved giving us presents and seeing us smile.”

“Sounds about right from what you told me.”, he chuckles. “What about now? Do you guys carry on the traditions?”

“Um, yeah absolutely. My mom makes a turkey and we get to together to just talk and watch Christmas movies like you and your uncle.”

Your smile fell ever so slight as your eyes glazed over causing him to reach for your hand. 

“Well, after, if you want to come over and share a burger you absolutely can. You know you’re always welcome over here, sweetheart.”

“Oh, thank you, but I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re never intruding, babe.”

After knocking on your apartment door, he waited, hoping for your sake he read the signs wrong but as the door slowly opened his heart broke. 

“Eddie? H-Hey, baby, what are you doing here?”

Your voice was gravelly telling him immediately you had been crying. 

“Come on.”, he murmured as his hand gestured absently out the door. “Come on. You’re coming with me.”

“Sweetie, I can’t. I don’t want to bother you—” Before you could finish your sentence, he collected you in his arms and began heading towards his van. “Eddie, wait! I’m in my pajamas! I haven’t even done my hair.”

“You still look beautiful to me.”

***

“I can’t put my arms down!”, the little boy in the movie whines eliciting a loud cackle from Wayne as he sips from the beer can in his hand. 

“You know, Y/N, my mother, Eddie’s grandma, used to dress up me and Allen in all those layers like one gust of wind would freakin’ blow us away.”

“Pfft, thankfully my mom didn’t hate me that much.”, Eddie teased as his uncle tossed him a playful glare. 

You laugh as you curl up closer to the metalhead’s side and take a bite of the fry on your plate. 

“Ah commercial. I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette real quick.”, Wayne announced before rising to his feet and disappearing out the door. 

“How are you doing down there? You alright? Need a refill?”, Eddie asks as he cranes his neck to meet your gaze and his fingers brush your hair away from your face. 

“No, I’m alright.”, you smile as you tilt up to kiss his lips. “Thank you for this.”

“No problem. You’re always welcome here, baby. You’re never a bother. I’m going to get that tattooed on you somewhere so you can look at it and always remember.”, he jokes as he pokes your side. 

After you pull back to fully sit up, he does the same knowing you’re about to tell him something you struggle to say. You always pulled away slightly when you felt like you were about to tell him something heavy. He thought maybe it was your physical way of protecting yourself. As if you were expecting him to explode by your news so you wanted to be able to run and be safe. 

Eddie did everything he could to make you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally safe but he understood that sometimes your mind won the internal battle over anything else. 

“I haven’t spent Christmas with my family in years. When my dad died… my family struggled to cope especially my mom. She’s strong willed you know? ‘I don’t need therapy. I’m fine. I can handle it.’ But…every holiday…it’s like she forgets about me. We don’t do anything.  I don’t even get a text or a phone call… Then of course my siblings have their own families with their own traditions and since my mom is in her own head she doesn’t scold them for not even calling either. 

For years, I called or invited myself over…forced the family to spend time together…but these past couple of years…I can’t do it. I want them to think of me first for once. God, that’s so selfish.”, you sigh as you hide behind your hands. 

“No, baby, no it’s not. Hey. Look at me.”, Eddie coos as he lightly pulls at your wrists and reaches out with his fingers to dry some of your tears that had fallen. “It’s not selfish. Like you said, you tried for so many years and it went unnoticed AND unreciprocated. You deserve to have someone put in the same effort you do and then some. Your dad always did, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Come here, sweetheart.” After moving your plates and drinks to the side, he collects you in his arms and holds you tightly to him, rocking you gently back and forth as he pets your head allowing you to cry in his embrace. “Everything’s ok, Y/N. You’re safe with me, babe.”

After a while, your tears stop as you both focus on the tv in front of you and he smiles when you laugh at the boy on the screen. 

“You know I did that once.”

“Eddie, no!”, you tease as you lightly smack his chest.

“Oh, of course. Put my tongue on the pole and it got stuck. No one had to dare me or nothing. I just did it.”

“Oh my god.”

The door slams shut as Wayne wipes his boots on the mat and grins when he sees you in his nephew’s arms before taking a seat back in his chair. 

 “Hey, Ed. Remember your junior year of high school when you stuck your tongue to the pole?”

[alrightbuckaroo]

What a year, huh! I haven't nearly as much as I did last year, but June was my very first time feeling confident writing smut during the entire nine years I've been writing fanfiction, so I'm treating that as a personal victory. Anyways, here's the goods, my personal favorites are in red (you already know, string of fate):

tender eyes that shine | M | 16.1k words

A character study in which Carlos learns to love himself a little more, even the soft parts.

love can pull you out of yesterday | T | 38.9k words

The day TK falls through the ice is a day that Carlos doesn't want to remember, but it's one he can't forget. It's the day he's currently stuck living over and over and over again.

something to give each other | E | 11.9k words

12 times TK and Carlos love each other in their rawest form. or Sex. 12 ways.

goodnights and goodbyes | G | 4.6k words

TK and Carlos journey to New York for the first time to attend TK's high school reunion. While Carlos is dreading the thought of socialization in a new city, TK is dreading the thought of running into something, or rather someone, from his past.

furever home | G | 4.9k words

“Do you think he bites?” TK asks, bringing Carlos back to the present. His question is laced with uncertainty, but it’s not strong enough to raise cause for concern. “You didn’t seem to mind biting all that much the other night,” Carlos playfully counters, pulling out the plastic food dish that’s covered in imprinted black paw-prints. Pun, somewhat intentional. TK, fondly, rolls his eyes. “Really?” Carlos' chuckles are lost in the mix of kibble hitting the bottom of the plastic bowl. “Force of habit,” He defends with a shrug. or Carlos and TK get a dog.

modus operandi | E | 1.1k words

Carlos walks through the front door, smelling of gunpowder, sweat, and satisfaction.TK almost falls apart on the kitchen floor right then and there. He’s just finishing putting Lou II back in his tank and putting the rest of the bell pepper away. “Hey baby,” TK greets, his smile turning a bit electric when he seems the gleam in Carlos’ eyes. He watches as Carlos takes off his hat and removes his holster. “Just finished feeding Lou II. He was hungry.” “He’s not the only one,” Carlos declares before undoing the knot in his tie. He collides with TK, mouths overtaking one another, no air escaping between them. Carlos tastes like married life, missed dinners and the right kind of mayhem. or Carlos solves the case and needs to put all of the adrenaline somewhere.

devour me | E | 20.5k words

de·vour [ dih-vou-uhr, -vou-er ]: to consume destructively, recklessly, or wantonly or kinktober prompt fills

come home to my heart | M | 2.8k words

TK crawls up his body as if he’s a path only he gets to trek. As soon as they’re face to face, TK briefly stills, falling even more in love with his husband’s eyes. Brown, warm, and somehow both inviting and begging to be let in. TK wants to tell him that he doesn’t need to beg; there’s a place in his heart where he’s always welcomed. Carlos smiles and TK’s pulled out of his thoughts, smiling back, almost subconsciously. He can’t help it, Carlos just has this effect on him. He leans in, and Carlos opens his mouth, the heat tantalizing and teasing. or a 5x05 Coda in which we see "sexy time" reach fruition and that loving kiss become something more

moments in love

when the morning comes

a pretty good team

it's okay. we're okay.

sidewalk chalk, covered in snow

Don't worry, I'm not done, I made a couple of gif sets too!

“and you were gazing at me, more than gazing — my gaze was dreaming you, and yours was dreaming me.”

a boy's best friend is his mother

Thanks to @heartstringsduet, @bonheur-cafe @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @whatsintheboxmh, and @henrygrass for the tags!

No pressure tagging the lot of you because I want everyone to show off:

@reyesstrand, @herefortarlos, @carlos-in-glasses, @paperstorm, @actual-sleeping-beauty, @ambiguouspenny

@sapphic--kiwi, @strandnreyes, @sheholdsthemoon, @sanjuwrites, @decafdino

@danieljradcliffe, @freneticfloetry, @guardian-angle22, @goldenskykaysani, @hereghostslive

@honeybee-taskforce, @kiloskywalker, @lutavero, @literateowl, @lemonlyman-dotcom

@lightningboltreader, @orchidscript, @irispurpurea, @ironheartwriter, @irispurpurea

@your-catfish-friend, @three-drink-amy, @theghostofashton, @thebumblecee, @tellmegoodbye

@rosedavid, @reasonandfaithinharmony, @ravens-words, @captain-gillian, @nancys-braids

@emsprovisions, @never-blooms, @eclectic-sassycoweyes, @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes

@basilsunrise, @carlos-in-glasses, @carlos-tk, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@mikibwrites, @everlastingday, @noxsoulmate, @lire-casander and of course, the biggest open tag every <3

and as always, if it's been hard to create this year, that doesn't make you any less of a writer, artist, gif maker, etc. you just needed a break, we all do sometimes :)

[hauntedhokage]

𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣

Xavier/F!Reader (not MC)

word count: 1.8k

warnings: dead dove do not eat, Xavier is a predator and a freak (the way I like him), yan!Xavier, trespassing, noncon, m & f receiving oral, somnophilia, noncon filming/photos, drugging, intoxication, unprotected sex, breeding, literally READ THE WARNINGS

note: this was written in the google doc on mobile at 1am when I couldn’t sleep so…yeah. enjoy

[ao3] [ko-fi]

Xavier had to protect you. 

He’d gradually lost control of his infatuation with you, his neighbor across the hall. Your cute smile and trusting nature pushed him across that borderline into true obsession that he couldn’t keep at bay any longer. He told himself it’s just to look out for you, as a researcher you’re able to defend yourself but just barely since aptitude tests are much more spread out for your section of the Association than his. Someone had to.

He abuses the key he had to your apartment, something given to him once so he could look after your cat while you were at a convention and he’d taken it upon himself to make a copy so he could continue to look out for you better. The key sees use every night, the Deepspace Hunter keeping himself in so he can watch over you in your bedroom and help himself to some of your clothes - he slept better when he was surrounded by your scent and needed to rotate out the clothes he was borrowing. 

As time goes on he gets bolder, taking your wrist in his hand and using it to palm at his cock through his pants and eventually using it to get himself off. Your face looked beautiful decorated with his spend, and he always took a picture to save to a private album to be used later when he wanted to get off but couldn’t get to you. 

A few days later he’s coaxing your mouth open, treating himself to the mouth he fantasized about and losing himself in the sight of your pretty lips wrapped around his cock. That night he returned the favor; crawling into your bed and settling between your spread legs, pulling your panties to the side and indulging in your taste for the first time. You were so sweet, got wet for him so quickly that he could’ve made love to you that night but he held off in fear that your little moans and whines were indicators  that you were waking up. The following morning he’s proud of himself when he overhears you telling your best friend about how vivid your dream had been. 

“It felt so real,” you’d commented, stirring at your coffee as you lean against the counter in the office kitchen. “A hoping for another one.”

“If it’s a side effect of your sleeping pills then you might.” She responded, pointing her own stirring stick at you. “You look so well rested, I hope it does happen again.”

That had cemented that he was helping you, doing you a favor even if you didn’t realize it was him doing it. A labor of love, something that one day he knew he’d be able to provide when you were awake and begging for him to make you cum over and over again. But that would come in due time - you’d already invited him to get drinks with you and your coworkers this weekend. 

And when he’s sitting in the bar with you, he’s having a great time. You were gorgeous when you let loose and enjoyed the company of your friends outside of work - even if he hated the way Andrew was looking at you. A silly crush that wouldn’t see anything come to fruition, but Xavier still finds himself frustrated that another man was looking at you like that. But as you continue to drink what he’d brought you, he relaxes more with the comfort of being that you’d need to be escorted home soon and that was when he could consummate his relationship with you. 

“I think I need to go to bed,” you comment tweet minutes later, leaning into Xavier in an effort to keep your balance. “I’m losing my tolerance”

“That means you need to come out with us more!” One of the women tease, and Xavier laughs as you giggle while waving off the suggestion. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she gets home.” He assures, smile in his face as boss arm finds itself sound your waist. 

“Yep.” Your drunken chirp is cute, he can’t help but smile down at you as you drape his arm around your shoulders. “Xavi lives by me.”

Your colleagues don’t argue, bidding you both a good night and wishing him luck with getting the little drunk home. The additives he’d given you had truly done their job, you were just lucid enough and able to carry a conversation at this point that it didn’t look suspicious at all for him to be sliding into the back seat of the can next to you. His hand settles on your thigh, and you giggle as your hand covers his to keep it there - an invitation for sure, something that he’d wait to capitalize on to make sure the driver didn’t get to see how pretty you were when you kissed. 

You let him help you to your bedroom, dropping onto your bed as he went to your bathroom for a moment. He comes back without a shirt on, something that confuses you but you don’t vocalize it. It’s when his fingers start to unbutton your blouse that you try to push him away, but you’re so weak compared to him and he only chuckles at your pathetic attempt to stop him.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, don’t worry.” 

He’s kissing you now, his hands sliding around to your back to unclasp your bra so he can touch more of you. You don’t kiss back, but your mouth opens and you sit there in shock as he licks into your mouth. “Taste so sweet, I love how you taste. I love everything about you.”

His hand moves to your skirt pulling at the zipper on the side and breaking the one sided kiss to push your skirt down. His fingers trace your slit through your panties, leaving you mortified as how wet you were despite the way he was forcing himself on you. 

“I won’t even need to prep you, I should slide right in.”

“Xavier, no.”

“You going to love it, you were asking for it last night but I wanted you awake for this.”

He might’ve said too much, not that it truly mattered. As time went on the drug’s effects would settle in and you would be truly pliant to him much like you were when you slept and dreamt of him giving you orgasm after orgasm. 

He gets you on your back with your head in your pillows, quickly getting out of his jeans and briefs to meet his cock spring free. It’s long and intimidating, your eyes are glued to it as his hand leisurely strikes it while he gets onto the bed between your legs. Your panties are left on, the fabric pushed to the side as his tip aligns itself with your dripping entrance. 

The stretch is immediate, your eyes closing at the discomfort coupled with the embarrassment at how lewd your juices sounded as he rocked his hips into yours you work hoods length into you. You don’t know how you’re so wet, you don’t think you want to know, all you know is that you mind was unwilling but your body was screaming for Xavier to thanks you right now and it wasn’t fair. 

“Waited so long to get inside you,” he breathes, those blue irises dark with his madness as he bottoms out in your tight pussy. “So tight, waiting for me to mold you to me. Waited so patiently for me to make you mine.”

“Xavier please,” you whimper, your hand weakly coming up to rest on his chest. You felt like you were moving in slow motion and it was horrifying. “Stop please. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“I want you to tell everyone we’re together. You’re mine, always have been.”

Your body feels too heavy to fight him, your arm staying where he’d redirected it to rest on his shoulder as he pulls your legs up to his chest in a mating press. 

“Xav-“

“Shhh.” His thumb presses to your lips, pushing past them and into your mouth to silence you and any dissent you may want to voice. Your pussy was already starting to clench around his cock, abd he was eager to feel you cum around him instead of his fingers. “You’re about to cum for me already, you’re so good to me.”

You whine around his thumb, teeth pressing into the digit as you tight around him some more. You were so petty, sounded so sweet when you came while sleeping, awake you were downright gorgeous as you started into Bo’s eyes with tears welling up in yours. You felt so good you had to cry, he knew that he had to be your soulmate because of that. 

“Gonna give you a baby,” he whispers, kissing your shoulder as you lay limp beneath him. “Gonna tie you to me forever, like you should be. Make you mine, you want that.”

You shake your head, too weak to do anything else as your body begins to betray you once more. He was just so deep, so big, stretching you in all the right ways and stroking every spot inside you and he knew your body was responding the way he wanted it to. You’re too tired to panic, too weak to fight, all you can do is take what he was determined to give you and you hate it. 

“Gonna fill you all night, and tomorrow we’ll tell everyone that we’re together and Andrew can stop looking at you like that. You want to be mine, you wouldn’t let me do this if you didn’t.”

You want to argue, but your mouth is dry and the words won’t come. The pace of his thrusts increase, his hands gripping the pillows on either side of your head and his teeth grit. He was close, and you have no idea what to do because you can’t stop him from finishing inside you.

“Fuck, I’m cumming.” The warning isn’t soon enough, for as soon as the words leave him you’re hit with the feeling of his throbbing cock unloading with the intent of heading directly to your womb. He keeps himself inside you, wanting to make sure not a drop of his cum left you, preparing your drowsy face in kisses as he praises you for how well you took him and how beautiful you’d look pregnant with his baby.

You fall asleep shortly after he rolls into his back, pulling you with him so you’d rest on his chest with his cock still being warned by your full cunt, with his knuckles gently dressing along your spine as he hums a lullaby that lulled you to sleep. 

You wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning, it’d be too easy for him to get you to believe that you were two drunk neighbors who made a drunken decision but he’d love to take you out for breakfast. You might be sore, and he’d apologize profusely for hurting you, but you’d comply because he knew you wanted him just as much as he’d wanted you. 

[berberriescorner]

Silent Nights, Steady Hearts🎄♥️

Characters: Husband!Jay Halstead x Black!Reader.

Word Count: 500+.

"A Season of Love Christmas Series 🎄♥️"

The chill of Christmas morning seeped through the windows, the faint glow of dawn casting soft shadows across the bedroom. You stirred slightly, the warmth of the blankets tempting you to burrow deeper into them.

But then you felt it—the familiar press of Jay’s lips against your forehead. It was gentle, unhurried like he had all the time in the world to wake you.

“Merry Christmas,” he murmured, his voice still rough from sleep.

“Mmm,” you hummed in reply, cracking one eye open to see his boyish smile. He was already dressed, wearing his favorite green henley that you loved, paired with that flannel he always claimed was “just practical.” But it wasn’t his clothes that caught your attention. It was the way he was holding a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a small, carefully wrapped gift in the other.

“What’s this?” you asked, propping yourself up on one elbow, curiosity mixing with the comfort of the moment.

“Coffee, first,” he said with a grin, handing you the mug. “Figured you’d need it to handle what’s coming next.”

You sipped, savoring the familiar taste. “What’s coming next?”

“Open this,” he said, placing the small gift in your lap before sitting down on the edge of the bed, his gaze steady but tinged with nervous anticipation.

Carefully, you peeled back the paper, revealing a velvet box. You glanced up at him, your heart skipping a beat at the intensity in his expression.

“Jay…”

“Just open it,” he said softly, his hands clasped together as he leaned slightly forward.

Inside was a delicate silver necklace, the pendant shaped like a compass.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered, tracing the intricate design with your fingertips.

Jay cleared his throat, his voice low but steady. “I know it’s simple, but… it felt right. A compass—it always points you in the right direction, right? And for me…” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck before continuing. “You’ve been that for me. My constant. My home. No matter how lost I get, you always bring me back.”

Your breath hitched, and you felt a lump rise in your throat. “Jay…”

He leaned in, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I know my job’s not easy on our relationship. I know I’m not always easy. But you’re everything to me, and I need you to know that. Not just today, but every day.”

You reached out, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re my home too, Jay,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He held you close, his hand sliding up your back, grounding you both in the moment. When he finally pulled away, he took the necklace from the box and fastened it around your neck, his fingers brushing against your skin.

“Perfect,” he said, a soft smile playing on his lips as he admired how it looked on you.

You leaned in, pressing your forehead to his. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas,” he replied, his voice a quiet promise, steady and unwavering—just like him.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, my babies! MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄♥️!!

Tagging a few lovelies:

@darqchilddaydreamz @sunshine-flower @astoldbychae

@1andonlytashae @prettyyybrownroundd @starrynite7114

@lil-black-girl @blackterrae @onherereading

[dcdreamblog]

So forgive me if this is too broad a question... but you mentioned recently that Jay Garrick is 106. And I know Alan Scott, Ted Grant, and Ma Hunkle are all still alive. And even for the wartime heroes who have since passed on, a lot of them seem to have had children who can't be older than 30 like Jack Knight or Jade and Obsidian.

Do super-powers just make people age slower? But how does that apply to their spouses? Joan Garrick seems nearly as vital as her husband when I've seen her interviewed.

Oh. Right. This wasn't publically available news to a lot of people. Or rather while it was publically available it wasn't widely broadcast. Joan Garrick passed away, only a few months earlier this year, at the age of 102 after a sudden worsening of condition from a minor fall. She is buried in Valhalla Cemetery in upstate New York where her husband's plot waits beside her. Her funeral was a well attended but private ceremony with representatives from every group and generation of superheroes. I am told the speech by Kid Flash, formerly Impulse, was particularly beautiful.

As for how a woman of her kind reached the age of 102, how her husband goes strong at 106 and why so many of his contemporaries are still with us, that comes down to a single event on June 29th of 1941.

(Battle between the Justice Society and the villainous Ian Karkull, photograph published by the New York Times)

Ian Karkull was a former archeologist who discovered the remains of the lost city of Rangor somewhere in modern day Algeria where he discovered various lost sciences and mysticism that also drove him quite mad. Upon returning to civilization he fought against Dr. Fate many times and was, before this event, presumed dead.

Having instead retreated to the mystical realm known as the Shadowlands, Karkull had discovered through means unknown the identities of the next 9 Presidents of the United States after Franklin Roosevelt. Assembling a group of villains including mobster Alexander the Great, Tigress, Doctor Doog, Lightning Master, Sieur Satan, Tarantula (not to be confused with the All Star Squadron member of the same name), Wotan and Zachary Zor. He sent each of them across the country to assassinate each man where they were stopped by the present members of the Justice Society. When each villain was stopped (save for Wotan, who DID kill his target, try not to think about the implications of that too much) the JSA assembled in New York to do battle with Karkull himself where their combined onslaught overwhelmed his ability to contain the shadow energy his body was made up of, exploding over the assembled heroes. This magical detonation is assumed to be the cause of these heroes' extended longevity, the heroes present being The Atom, Doctor Fate, The Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Hourman, Johnny Thunder, Sandman, The Spectre, Starman and The Flash's then girlfriend Joan Williams.

These heroes aged remarkably slowly in the following decades though most have since passed away in the line of duty or via mechanisms of age once their extended years did indeed begin catching up with them in other ways (a la Johnny Thunder's Alzheimer's diagnosis and eventual death).

This was one of the Society's most consequential battles in general, since its events directly lead to Starman joining the JSA in full, Dr. Fate foregoing the Helmet of Nabu in future battles, Hourman entering semi-retirement due to the health effects of Miraclo and Green Lantern stepping back from active membership out of guilt in his inability to stop Wotan from killing a small child.

On the other hand, Maxine Hunkel is just 100% like that. Death has not taken her because Death does not dare to approach her until she is good and goddamn ready.

[gildedbirdcage-if]

Your fingers threaten to do so, even now, but you recall Orion telling you there’s certain things you can only do when you’re young. That things lose their innocence as you get older.

You hear Alek, but you are not doing a very good job at listening. His face is awfully close to yours, in a way that could mean something when you’re older. The way Orion warned you. The way your novels sometimes end.

I'm not sure if you take requests for snippets, but if so could we please get a flashback of Orion having these talks with MC/warning them? It sounds like it would be both cute and funny with how sheltered the MC is! I understand if it's not possible though, so please don't feel pressured :)

So sorry to answer this so late- holidays are always so busy! Snippet down below- may not be exactly how it will be in the story but it’ll be something like this. Set around when MC is 15 and Orion is 14 with a crushing Orion because I can’t help myself. TW for slight alluding to sexual harassment/abuse. Please read at your own discretion and health. MDNI

You wake with a start.

It was not a very good day- filled with glares, comments, and shoves disguised poorly as accidents. It appeared such things couldn’t help but bleed into the night as well- into your very dreams. With such things invading your room, you fear there may never be an escape from the torment. No haven from this hate.

As quickly as you think there is no where to go, you remind yourself that of course there is. You could go to the kitchens in your wing that houses Orion. Grumpy with you as he may oft be, he was still a much happier option than being alone. He would never lay a hand on you and it has seemed like ages since he’s uttered a truly hateful word to you- whether that be because he found you more agreeable these days or because he was sick of Alek in his ear, you may never know.

You fling blankets off of you, rush to the window, and fling the curtains in a similar fashion. Outside the window, the sky was pitch black and the only light to cover the world is a rather full and bright moon.

Well… even better, you think to yourself. Likely Orion still sleeps and it’s been an awful long time since you’ve had a sleepover with anyone. The poison of the day, try as it might to get you in the night, could not get you when such a wonderfully genius idea manifests itself.

You arrange the curtains back to sorts and spin away from the window, the skirt of your nightgown expanding momentarily around you as you do, and set your sights on the door to exit your room and begin to roam through the empty halls.

The halls are silent, save the thumping of your bare feet, and you are grateful for this. People would only ruin the beautiful mood you’ve put yourself in with your brilliant idea and you simply can not, will not, stand for it. It’s a shame Alek isn’t home for you to share your idea, you hadn’t had a sleepover with him in so long either. Alek and Orion’s lives seem too busy for such things any more while you… well, you just seemed to float from one day to the next. Unchanging.

Time has robbed you of sleepovers, days where you would play all day, and days where it seemed all you had was each other. Now Alek leaves home more than he stays, puts his life in danger, and has become quite set on becoming the commander of the army one day. When you are most lonely and sad, he assures you in letters that someday you’ll understand. That if he could do it all from home he would. That it hurts him to leave you so. You wish you could tell him how hollowing it can be to one day feel like you were the center of someone’s world and the next realize you aren’t. But you are being unreasonable, Orion has told you many a time, and a country does not simply protect itself.

Orion, while in no great danger, similarly is too busy to entertain you. He minds you less and less occupying a corner in his kitchens but he is lost in the flurry of the work and he has no time to listen to what kind of bug you saw and what patterns it held, the way you got stuck trying to find a good hiding place for a game that you, Alek, and Orion no longer play, or how the sparks from the fireplace cracked so loud and reached so far you scrambled away so quickly with a fit of giggles lest it set you ablaze. How heartbreaking it was to make sounds at people but they never truly hear. Orion has his dreams of being the best chef in the castle, no, the country, he tells you, and he must work his hardest each day to achieve that. No noble wouldn’t know his name.

But look at you, making your own eyes water when you have set yourself on no one ruining your mood or idea. It seems you cannot let your guard down even against your own thoughts.

You enter Orion’s domain, the kitchens his room is attached to, and it’s as you’ve always known it. Orion runs a tight ship and the only imperfect, messy piece is the corner dedicated just for you that he allows no one to touch. Projects you start but never finish decorate it and you have to pry yourself from the idea of just setting up camp right then and there for the day. Sleepover, you remind yourself.

Opening the door, you smile at how very Orion this room is- as it ought to be seeing it is his. The moon shines it’s light through his window giving you the ability to see how tidy and very grownup the room is, not even a spare sock to be seen. Very different from your own room that you couldn’t care less if everything looked prim and proper. Dark blue, his favorite color since before you met him, is found everywhere here and adds to his air of sophistication.

The only childish thing that spoils the room can be found on his desk, in bright colors that betray the somber room. Your heart awkwardly beats at the sight… they were pictures you’ve drawn just for him, poems you wrote and stories from when you figured yourself an accomplished author, lyrics you wrote that you thought rather charming. Something unnameable warmed in you as you stared at it- it was not lost on you that in Orion’s busy, tidy, controlled, and uniform life he somehow found a corner just for you and no one else to have in his two most lived in places.

Unsure if he would have wanted you to see that he still kept the things you’ve given him over the years, you turn to his bed where he sure enough is sleeping, unaware of your entering.

The brown hair he’s been growing out is splattered across his pillow and messy as he sleeps on his side, facing the window, and he cuddles a pillow tightly to himself. His scars from his occupation shine like silver in the moonlight on his arms around the pillow. While mostly covered in a blanket, you can see his bare back, also scarred, and wonder why he is allowed to wear less clothes as time marches on but you must wear more. Thankfully, Orion does not wear nothing and you can see the waistband of sleep pants.

You come across your first hurdle here… normally, you would not have any problems with simply waking him up but he seems so peaceful here, so deeply asleep with his small snores here and there, that you fear you would feel guilty getting in the way of that. You cannot lay yourself quietly at his back due to how he sleeps and his bed is not as large as yours to find a place for yourself. Maybe at one time you could but Orion has grown too tall, unfortunately.

Troubling, indeed.

Well… Orion, you, and the pillow obviously can’t fit so you become resolved to remove the offending pillow. Crawling onto his bed, you pull at the pillow until it is set free, launch it somewhere in the room, and wiggle yourself in it’s place and you are immediately warm and comfortable.

Orion, in his sleep, seems perfectly unaware that the pillow has vanished and his strong arms wrap around you quite tightly. There’s something about the hold that makes you feel feverish and makes it hard to breathe… but you feel safe, nonetheless. Bad dreams can’t afflict you here.

Getting a good look at his face, your eyes are drawn to the crease his eyebrows create. Even in sleep, Orion finds a way to somehow have a scowl about him. Inching your hands to it, you can’t help but press at it and attempt to massage it away. You used to be skeptical when Alek’s mother would say that if you had your face a certain way it would get stuck like that… but now you think she may have been telling the truth.

Orion grumbles at your attentions, stretches his legs, tightening his arms about you more somehow, and opens his eyes a smidge and looks at you. You have been caught, which really should not come as a shock to you. Really, you can’t just touch someone’s face as you are and think they wouldn’t feel it.

Staring at you bleary-eyed, Orion plucks your hand away from his brow and places it on his chest, near his heart you dare say, before closing his eyes and placing his arms back around you just so… rubbing soothingly at knots that are not there.

You have no opportunity to make anything of it before his eyes shoot back open, wide, and he gasps- untangling himself and falling to the floor with a thud that causes you to wince.

He takes the blankets with him, pulls them up to cover his chest, and says, “What in God’s name are you doing in my room?”

His tone makes you feel as though, perhaps, your idea was not as brilliant as you thought.

“I… I was having bad dreams from the day and I thought-“ you begin.

Orion cuts you off. “I’m quite certain you weren’t thinking anything. My God, did anyone see you enter here?”

He gets up then and fetches a shirt to put on while you feel like you should get up and flee. Lock yourself up in your room. Hide away from your friend’s ire.

“I was not seen, I was not heard… I’m sorry, Orion, I just… I had a bad day that became a bad night and wanted to be with someone. Have a sleepover like we used to. Remember?”

You want to add that you don’t understand his anger, it never mattered before. Why would something as small as a sleepover matter now?

Still facing away from you, you hear Orion take a very slow, very large intake of air and expel it equally as slow. You recognize it, it happens often enough. It’s the kind of breath Orion breathes when he is trying to find his patience with you. You place your hands in your lap, fiddling with your thumbs, and look down at them feeling quite chastised.

You hear him walk back to the bed and you glance at him through your lashes, more so peeking at him. Orion’s stare goes from your exposed shoulder where your nightgown has shifted to your exposed legs- the kerfuffle had set your nightgown out of sorts without you realizing. Carefully, avoiding touching your skin, he fixes your sleeve and then grabs the hem of your nightgown to pull it back over your legs. As an extra layer, he throws the blanket about you to cover you up. You didn’t think you were so chastised that you were shaking… you figure he must have thought if you were shivering that you were cold with how he was covering you.

Orion kneels on the ground in front of the bed and seems to have a hard time looking you in the eye. “I need you to understand we’re not little anymore.”

Well, that was silly. Obviously you knew that. He and Alek have become like trees in the last year or so.

“I know,” you respond, confused why he would say that.

He takes another calming breath. “No, you don’t. I need you to understand we’re not children anymore.”

That bothers you. “Yes we are. Alek’s mother still calls us children. She wouldn’t do that if we were grown up.”

He looks you in the eye now and you can tell you’re still not hearing him the way he wants you to.

“We are not children, MC, and we’re not grownups either. We’re awkwardly in the middle but I need you to understand that it still means something. You cannot… sneak into a man’s room, especially one seen as a servant, in the middle of the night in just a nightgown.”

“What else should I wear for a sleepover? This is what I’ve always worn.”

Orion runs his hands through his hair. He looks a mixture of embarrassed and frustrated and you’re not sure why.

“We can’t have sleepovers anymore, MC, and when I say that I mean that you and I can’t. You and Alek can’t. Those days are over and gone. It means something different now.”

You feel your lip quiver at the mention of your days of fun, of being around them whenever you so choose, being over. Gone.

You feel that wall you thought of earlier begin to add more bricks between you and Orion. Maybe even Alek too. This knowledge that they’re so privy to while you stay infantile to them. You are older than Orion and yet that can’t be. They move on, they run, while you seem to never be able to move on beyond a crawl.

“Don’t do that,” Orion says, sounding a little taken aback by your apparent heartbreak and hurt.

“You’re just being cruel, the way Alek says you like to be in some misguided way.” You say, sniffles finding their way into the sentence.

You can almost see him cursing Alek.

“Maybe I am being cruel but I’m doing what no one else will do and telling you the way of the world. I would give anything for this to be someone else’s job but I can’t let you be ignorant any longer. It’s dangerous now to let you continue on this way. Everyone can treat you like a baby who says a word wrong but never corrects them because they find it cute but I won’t do that to you.” Orion says with great feeling.

Deep down, you know he is not intentionally being cruel the way he was when you first met. It was unfair to accuse him of it. Orion is pulling weight in your life that he shouldn’t have to.

He sees you are listening now.

“People like you are sold to the highest bidder when they’re young and I don’t think you’ll be safe from it for forever. And even if you are… there’s people out there, evil people, who will take advantage of you not knowing… things. You need to know how it is. Between people.”

“Things lose their innocence as we get older,” Orion continues. “That’s why you can’t have sleepovers anymore or be seen with us in just a nightgown. I know, Alek knows, that you sneaking into our beds means nothing… but anyone else? Anyone who would catch you doing that would think you did mean something. That you did something. That you’re- that we- anyways, you just can’t do that, okay?”

No, it wasn’t okay and you didn’t understand.

“Okay,” you say quietly, sadly.

Orion sighs heavily, his frustration moving from you to himself. “I- I don’t think I can explain the ins and the outs to you of what I want you to know. I thought I could but it’s… awkward and embarrassing, all right? Just… know that you can’t go sleeping with- next- know that you can’t have sleepovers anymore with me or Alek. And you tell us if someone tries to get you to, okay? You don’t agree, you don’t say anything, you just run as fast as you can to me or Alek’s family.”

He moves to tip your chin to make sure you’re looking at him, that you’re still listening. All you can do is nod your head. You understand he needs you to know this is important, and you do, but you don’t understand at all. You still feel rather unfairly chastised when you don’t know what you’ve done wrong… just that you have done wrong.

Orion drops his hand like it burns and looks embarrassed still, a rarity that you can’t even enjoy because you feel so down and ashamed.

“I’ll see if I can get a book or something so you can learn. Or maybe writing it would be easier on me and then you can burn it. I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. For now, you need to go back to your room before everyone wakes up. Go back to sleep. No more coming here at night.”

You come out the the blanket cocoon and head to the door, wordlessly doing as he asks. Orion seems restless at your silence.

Before you can leave, Orion grabs the crook of your elbow and pulls you back to face him.

“I didn’t want to- I didn’t mean to- why don’t I make your favorite for breakfast? And- and we’ll play that game I hate. The one where we have to draw something and the other guesses. The one you’re so good at. I’ll even make your favorite dessert for when you win.”

It’s awkward, him being so kind. You appreciate him trying.

You give him your best smile but even you know it doesn’t reach your eyes. “Okay.”

But you don’t leave your room that day. Today you hide away in your room, door firmly locked, and stay with your books and drawings that you wear as armor against growing up. At things changing. At your friends going upwards and onwards. At all the unknowns and things you’re ignorant to.

You will face the world on another day.

On this day, you cry.